Alright so I finally did this volleyball flooring project I’ve been talking about for weeks. Friend of mine asked if I could set up a portable court on this wonky patch of dirt near his garage. Said: “No problem, just needs some sturdy wood flooring.” Thought it’d be easy. Spoiler: it wasn’t.

Where I Messed Up First

Bought this rough-sawn larch wood cause everyone said it’s tough. Showed up all proud with the boards in my truck thinking: “Easy afternoon job.” Yeah right. Ground wasn’t flat. Like, at all. Shoulda measured twice but nah. Dumped the planks where the biggest dip was. Whole section tilted like a sinking ship. Had to drag ’em all back off. Sweat was already pouring.

• Borrowed my kid’s playground shovel to scrape dirt flat
• Threw down some gravel sacks as a base
• Stomped on it like I was crushing grapes for wine
• Used a broom handle as a level – classy stuff

Looked ugly but felt solid enough. Took forever. Sun was cooking me.

Slappin’ Those Boards Down

Started laying planks from one corner. Hammered gaps together real tight like you would with decking. Got about eight boards deep before noticing: planks were slightly warped. Classic. Middle plank stuck up like a seesaw. Dude at the store swore they were straight. Had to flip half the boards just to find the least-bent ones. Dropped a whole board on my foot. Hurt like crazy but had no time to whine.

Drilled pilot holes through each plank edge, banged in these thick galvanized screws every foot. Sawdust in my eyes. Kept thinking: “This better not collapse during the first game.”

The Crooked Plank Crisis

Almost done – last three boards left. Cut ’em too short by like three inches. How? I triple-checked! Realized the crooked plank at the start pushed the whole row crooked. Couldn’t unscrew everything – sunset was coming. Improvised. Used wood glue and some scrap pieces behind the gap. Slapped the shorter planks down sideways as patchwork. Covered seams with this ugly grey wood filler paste. Looks like a beaver chewed it in spots.

Done (Mostly)

Stepped back sweaty and covered in dirt. My kid kicked a volleyball on it – didn’t bounce right at first cause the filler wasn’t dry. But today? Walked over it. Feels solid. Boards don’t squeak. Tiny gaps still there but nothing rolls into ’em. Would I do it again? Hell no. Next time? Pay someone.

Just glad nobody fell through it yesterday when we played. Looks kinda pro if you squint real hard.