Man, so I decided to build a basketball gym last winter. Why? Cause my driveway hoop kept getting wrecked by snowplows, ya know? Figured I’d just slap up a metal building and call it good. Boy was I wrong.
Started by pacing my backyard with a tape measure. Thought, “Eh, maybe 30 feet by 50 feet?” Dug around online for prefab metal sheds. Called three places – first guy quoted $15k for just the empty shell. Almost choked on my coffee.
Then my neighbor Frank – you know Frank, always chainsmoking near my fence – goes, “You can’t just toss up a shed! Gotta pour concrete!” So I called concrete guys. Three dump trucks showed up to quote. One dude literally laughed when I said I wanted it flat enough for dribbling. “That ain’t no garage floor, chief!” They wanted $12k just for the slab. Plus $5k to level my swampy backyard cause apparently basketball courts hate puddles.
Permits. Oh god, the permits. Went down to city hall thinking it’d be a 10-minute thing. Lady hands me a binder thicker than my leg. “Zoning variance,” “stormwater management plan,” all this crap. Paid $800 in fees before I even broke ground. Inspector made me add six extra parking spots! For a private court! Said “what if you have tournaments?” Bro, I just wanna shoot hoops with my kids.
Then actual gear: Hoops ain’t cheap! Wanted those fancy breakaway rims like the pros use. $3,500 per system mounted properly. Lighting? Another nightmare. Electrician said, “You want no shadows?” Charged $8k for giant UFO-looking things on poles. My wife saw the bill and didn’t talk to me for a week.
Forgot ALL the little crap too. Line painting? $400. Padding for the poles? Another grand. Then it rained for three weeks straight during construction. Workers sat around charging me $200/hr to “supervise mud.”
Final damage? Brace yourself:
- Building shell: $22k (after upgrades for “wind load”)
- Concrete & grading: $17k
- Hoops/lights: $15k
- Permits/fees: $6k
- Random crap I forgot: ≈$10k
Total around $70 grand. That’s not even counting the divorce lawyer if my wife leaves me over this.
Kids love it though. Worth it? Maybe. But if you’re thinking about building one – just go play at the Y. Seriously. Unless you’re printing money in your basement.
