So yesterday we finally got the timber flooring done at the community sports hall. Took forever but let me walk you through how we pulled it off.

Getting Started

First things first – cleared out the whole hall. Swept like crazy then power-washed the concrete slab. Found this gnarly crack near the free-throw line. Fixed it with cement paste, let it cure overnight. Moisture test showed 12% – too damp. Ran dehumidifiers for two days straight.

Went to the lumberyard Saturday morning. Got these Baltic birch panels – cheaper than maple but still sturdy. Stacked’em in the hallway for acclimation. Big mistake! Warped overnight like bananas. Had to return half. Pro tip: never stack vertically near radiators.

The Real Work Begins

Laid out vapor barrier plastic – the thick mil type. Taped seams with this industrial adhesive tape that kept sticking to my fingers. Took three tries to get it flat without bubbles.

Started nailing panels at center court. Borrowed this pneumatic nailer from Hank’s workshop. Thing kept jamming every fifth nail. Frustrating! Ended up hand-hammering the first two rows. Sweat pouring down my neck already.

Around the three-point line, panels stopped lining up. Saw this ugly gap growing near baseline. Measured wrong somewhere. Had to rip out seven rows with crowbar – timber splintered everywhere. Wasted four planks. Almost threw my hammer through a window.

The Home Stretch

Re-did the math, snapped new chalk lines. This time went painstakingly slow. Checked alignment after each plank. Used spacers against the walls. Nailer finally behaved after I oiled it with cooking spray (don’t tell Hank).

Worst part? Sanding. Rented an orbital sander that vibrated so hard my teeth chattered. Dust masks fogged up instantly. Finished looking like a powdered donut.

Final coat of water-based sealant went on smooth. Watched it dry for two hours like a weirdo. Just stood there sipping coffee, paranoid about dust settling on it.

Kids tested it after school today – ball bounces properly, no splinters in anyone’s knees. Worth every blister and curse word.