Alright, so I finally made that sports wooden floor for my garage gym. Started by measuring the space – turns out my tape measure was older than my sneakers. Did the math twice ’cause last time I trusted my brain, the doghouse ended up looking like a shoebox.

Finding wood that won’t crack

Went to three lumber places asking for tough wood. First guy tried selling me plywood – told him that ain’t happening unless his grandma plans to dance on it. Found decent maple slabs finally, paid extra ’cause the sawmill dude claimed it “sweated in Canadian winters”. Whatever that means.

The cutting nightmare

Dragged planks into my driveway. Forgot how heavy wood gets when your arms start feeling like noodles midway. Used a circular saw that sounded like an angry chainsaw cat. Sawdust got everywhere – in my ears, under my nails, pretty sure I sneezed brown for two days.

Making tongues and grooves

Thought tongue and groove joints would be easy. Nope. My first three boards wouldn’t click together – gaps bigger than my old truck’s oil leaks. Wasted hours chiseling like I was carving stone. Finally gave up and borrowed Fred’s router. Still messed up twice before it started looking like something.

• Tried bevelling edges by hand – looked worse than chewed gum
• Router bit got stuck three times – had to whack it with a wrench
• My measuring pencil broke mid-mark – switched to using my kid’s sidewalk chalk

Sand, sand, sand… repeat

Started with 40-grit paper that ate through wood like termites. Changed sheets so often my thumbs bled. Sweat mixed with dust made mud streaks on the planks. Worst part was finding out my workbench wobbles after two hours of sanding – felt like seasick ship crew.

Finishing touches

Chose polyurethane finish ’cause the internet said so. Brush left streaks like tiger stripes. Switched to rags – ripped two shirts including my favorite band tee. Had to redo corners three times ’cause dog hair kept floating onto wet spots. Cat left paw prints on the middle plank – just left it there for character.

It’s done now. Looks decent enough for basement basketball. Still waiting for that first splinter to see if I messed up the sanding job. Overall? Next time I’m just calling floor guys.