Gotta share my latest weekend madness project. Saw this dance challenge video where folks were sliding on floors, thought “hey I could build that”. Went down a rabbit hole of how to make bouncy flooring without wrecking my knees.

The “Surely This Ain’t Hard” Phase

Grabbed junk plywood scraps from garage first. Cut ’em into squares with my janky circular saw – more dust clouds than actual cutting. Slapped rubber pads underneath from old chair legs. Tried shuffling sideways… BAM! Straight onto my butt. Pieces flew everywhere like dominoes. Not bouncy, just slippery death traps.

The Scrap Wood Graveyard

Trashed that idea fast. Dug out:

• Birch plywood sheets (the “good” stuff my wife warned me not to touch)
• Furniture foam strips (sacrificed the guest bed padding, oops)
• Every clamp from three toolboxes
• Gallon of wood glue that expired last Christmas

Marked cutting lines with a Sharpie and yardstick. Pro tip: measure twice still means you’ll cut one piece backwards. Happened three times.

The Frankenstein Assembly

Stuck foam strips around plywood edges like picture frames. Sandwiched two boards with glue in between – instant sticky finger disaster. Clamped everything like a maniac while glue oozed everywhere. My garage looked like a glitter bomb exploded if glitter was sawdust and glue blobs.

Dried overnight under old textbooks (college physics book FINALLY useful). Next morning, ripped off clamps. One corner popped open like a crocodile mouth. Cussed. Re-glued with entire glue bottle this time. Propped dumbbells on it like a weird gym altar.

Floor Test or Death Wish?

Laid down four “tiles” in basement. Stepped gingerly… then bounced! Actually bounced! Tried actual dance moves:

• The heel-toe? Toe caught on foam edge, stumbled into washing machine
• The spin? Board slid sideways, nearly kissed concrete wall
• The shuffle? SUCCESS! Got that smooth glide with actual cushion

Foam compresses just right when weight shifts. Boards stay put if you mount rubber bits diagonally. My Frankenstein floor WORKS. Mostly. Still tweaking – that glue crocodile corner opened again after vigorous cha-cha. Might just duct tape it.

Wife says it looks like serial killer flooring. I call it winning.