Okay, so this started because my buddy saw some fancy-shmancy art installation downtown – metal poles that wobbled when you touched ’em, looked kinda like trees dancing. He goes, “Bet you couldn’t make something like that cheap.” Challenge accepted, obviously.

The Dumb Idea Phase

First, I grabbed scrap wood from my shed – mostly warped maple planks leftover from a busted shelf project. Cheap is key, right? Then I remembered an old computer chair with busted hydraulics gathering dust in the garage. Yanked that piston cylinder out thinking, “This thing absorbs shock, yeah?” Seemed legit at the time.

Chopped those maple planks into weird totem pole chunks using my jigsaw – jagged edges everywhere, zero planning. Spray painted ’em this hideous neon green because why not? Already looking like roadkill. Drilled wobbly holes through each chunk’s center with my crappy cordless drill, splinters flying everywhere.

Making Chaos Happen

Slapped that piston cylinder upright on a plywood base screwed to an old cinderblock. Stacked the wonky green maple chunks onto the piston rod like a drunk toddler stacking blocks. The whole thing leaned sideways like the Tower of Pisa after three beers.

• Wobbled it with my hand – nothing happened. Just sat there looking stupid.
• Threw a tennis ball at it – chunks flew off like missiles. Almost took out a window.
• Swore loudly. Went inside for coffee.

Actually Working (Kinda)

Came back later, glaring at the leaning monstrosity. Yanked the maple chunks off, ripped off the cinderblock. Bolted the piston cylinder properly onto a wider plywood slab. Cut smaller holes through the wood chunks for a tighter fit around the rod.

Duct-taped washers inside each hollow maple chunk for weight – don’t @ me, it works. Taped quarters under the plywood base corners too. Now it stood upright without trying to murder me. Finally, greased up the piston cylinder real good with leftover bike chain lube because WD-40 wasn’t cutting it.

The magic moment: Gave it a gentle tap. Slowly, kinda drunkenly… it wobbled! Left-right-left, wobbling for like ten whole seconds before stopping. Threw a Nerf dart at it – same dance! It looked like some deranged zombie flamingo nodding off, but HEY IT MOVED.

Finished? More Like “Stopped Messing With It”

Is it actually shock absorbing? Barely. Does it dance? Only if “dancing” means “barely avoiding falling over while looking miserable.” But it moves when touched! Stuck googly eyes on the top chunk. My kid calls it “Mr. Wobbles.” It’s hideous. It lives on my porch now. Rain probably ruined the neon paint. Still wobbles, though. Would I do it again? Hell no. But it was fun making garbage move.