Today I decided to make something wild – shock absorbing timber for dancers? Sounded ridiculous but heck, why not try it. Dug around my garage for leftover wood scraps first thing after coffee.
The Hot Mess Start
Saw this dancer dude on TV slipping hard on stage and went “yikes”. Got me thinking about slippery floors, then bounce, then… boom! Shock absorbing wood planks popped into my dumb brain. Didn’t even sketch anything, just grabbed:
- Some leftover 2×4 pine chunks
- Busted car shock absorbers from neighbor’s trash
- A million rubber bands
- Superglue that expired last Christmas
Sweaty Garage Wrestling
Chopped the wood into 1-foot pieces real messy with my rusty hand saw. Sweat dripping everywhere. Tried carving grooves into the wood for the shock thingies – totally messed up two pieces. Wood split sideways like a dried twig. Swore real loud when the hammer smashed my thumb. Glued rubber bands to the bottom layer instead like a dumb gorilla wrapping presents.
My drill wouldn’t bite into the metal shocks proper, just made angry screeching sounds. Ended up tying them onto the wood with industrial zip ties pulled so tight my fingers went numb. Looked like a kindergartener’s macaroni art disaster.
The Moment of Truth
Slapped three franken-planks together on the driveway. Did a little hop in my work boots – wobbled like drunk jelly. Called my kid over to stomp on it. Whole thing buckled sideways instantly. Rubber bands shot off like missiles into the azaleas. Kid laughed like a hyena while I stood there with wood glue in my hair.
Took off the shocks completely next day. Used thicker rubber strips instead, screwed directly into the timber edges with way too many screws. Jumped hard – actually bounced without snapping! Still slid sideways if I shuffled, but hey, I’ll take it. Covered the ugly monster with old yoga mats held down by duct tape. Felt janky but worked enough for clumsy boogie nights.
Surprise Lessons
- Your cool idea usually sucks on first try
- Trash can become magic
- Kid laughter > perfect results
- Duct tape saves souls
Now my dance engineer timber lives in the basement collecting dust. Worth it just for the garage therapy and freaky bounces. Sometimes messy makes happy.
