So I got this crazy idea after watching some dance videos where folks kept slipping on stage floors. Got me thinking ’bout wood that absorbs shocks better, yeah? Kinda like what you see in gyms but fancier.
Stupid Beginning As Usual
Started with regular beech planks from Frank’s lumber yard down the road. Looked real nice but harder than my grandpa’s fruitcake. First test went horribly – dropped a bowling ball on it just to see. Bam! That thing bounced higher than my kid on sugar rush. Zero shock absorbed. Just a loud bang that scared my neighbor’s cat off the fence.
Messy Experiments Phase
Next weekend I’m rummaging through the garage like a raccoon. Found:
- Mismatched rubber strips from bike tire repairs
- That weird foam from old mattress topper
- Sawdust pancakes (don’t ask)
Glued all this junk between two thin beech slices like a trash sandwich. My wife walked in just as I’m drilling holes through it – gave me that “you’re destroying the kitchen again” look. Worth it though.
Disaster Dance Floor
Tested version 2 with actual stomping. Wore my boots and pretended to be Elvis shaking the floor. Complete disaster! Foam squeezed out like toothpaste, rubber bits flying everywhere. Sawdust pancake turned to powder – whole thing looked like a squirrel exploded inside it.
Almost-There Moment
Got mad and threw money at proper materials. Bought:
- Industrial shock pads (bank account cried)
- Super thin beech veneers
- Adhesive that smells like chemical warfare
Layered it all like lasagna – wood, glue, pad, glue, wood. Pressed overnight under every heavy book I own (even used grandma’s bible, felt guilty). Cut it into tiles next morning – looked legit!
Final Stupid Test
Made a tiny dance floor in garage. Made my teenager try breakdancing on it. Kid nearly broke his neck trying headspin but yelled “Yo this doesn’t hurt!” between spins. Dropped the bowling ball again – just a thud. Didn’t bounce! Neighbor’s cat didn’t even flinch this time. Success!
Now my garage smells like a glue factory’s outhouse and I’ve got suspicious back pain from hauling planks around. But heck – got my shock absorbing dancing beech timber! Wonder if anyone actually needs this besides drunk Elvis impersonators though…
