Starting with a Bad Idea

I cracked my ankle jumping on concrete last month playing hoops with my kid. Doctor said no more pavement bouncing unless I want early arthritis. Googled shock-absorbing floors – holy crap, $50 per square foot?! Nope. Grabbed my chainsaw instead.

Oak Hunting Disaster

Thought oak would be tough enough. Drove to Larry’s Lumberyard. Guy laughed when I said “portable basketball floor”. Bought twelve 8-foot oak planks anyway. Loaded ’em in my pickup truck. Forgot they weigh a ton. Rear suspension bottomed out scraping my driveway. Larry just waved goodbye smirking.

Cutting phase mess:

• Tried slicing planks into 2×2 ft squares. Chainsaw kicked back, nearly took off my thumb. Switched to circular saw – oak dust covered everything like brown snow.
• Forgot about wood expansion. Panels warped after three days in the garage. Had to shave edges again with a sander. Wore goggles but still coughed up sawdust for a week.

The “Shock Absorbing” Nightmare

Bought foam padding mats from Fitness Depot. Laid ’em under test panels. My kid dribbled once. Whole floor wobbled like Jell-O. Ball bounced sideways into Mrs. Peterson’s roses. Got yelled at through her window.

Swapped foam for old truck tire rubber strips. Weighed down panels overnight with cinderblocks. Next morning, the smell. Oh god. Like burning tires mixed with wet dog. Neighbors left angry notes.

Finally stole my kid’s rubber puzzle mats. Cut ’em to fit panel undersides with box cutter. Not perfect but stopped the wobble. Duct-taped edges so they wouldn’t peel. Ugly? Totally. Functional? Barely.

Portable? Hah.

Failed attempts at mobility:

• First idea: Bolt panels together. Too heavy to move, needed three guys to lift.
• Tried folding hinges. Awful squeaking every jump. Dog howled like sirens.

Ended up numbering each panel with spray paint. Just stack ’em like giant Legos against the garage wall now. Takes 20 minutes to assemble, sweatier than summer cardio.

The Final Setup

Slapped urethane coating on the oak surface – not for shine, just to avoid splinters. Ball bounces kinda weird but my ankles stopped screaming. Kid calls it the “Frankenfloor”. Dragged a half-court line with masking tape.

Why I Didn’t Quit

Remembered that stupid $50/sqft quote every time I bled on the oak. Took three weekends and a tetanus shot after stepping on rusty nails. But hey… court’s done. Rain warped two panels last Tuesday. Sanding again tomorrow. Bring beer if you wanna help.