Alright folks, let me tell you how my weekend project went down – trying to set up this “shock absorbing basketball maple portable wooden flooring” kit. Sounded fancy on the box, let me tell you. Real maple? Portable? Shock absorbing? Sounded too good. Spoiler: it kinda was, and kinda wasn’t.
The Grand Unboxing Disaster
First thing Saturday morning, I’m buzzing, coffee in hand. Drag that massive, heavy-as-hell box into the garage. Ripped it open expecting nice little puzzle pieces. Nope. Found about a million pieces of thin wood strips, tons of little plastic connector doohickeys in bags, and this flimsy roll of black netting that felt like a cheap reusable shopping bag. My back already started crying.
The Instructions: Looked like they were written by someone who’d never seen wood. Tiny pictures, worse than Ikea on a bad day. Step 1: “Arrange Subframe Elements.” Arranged what? Pieces looked identical! Spent 20 minutes just turning them over trying to spot tiny little arrows someone had scratched on near the end like an afterthought.
Building the Beast (Kinda)
Started clicking those plastic connectors into the wood strips. Felt cheap. One snapped right in my hand when I pushed too hard – just cracked like old Tupperware. Had to dig through the spares they thankfully included. Clicked, snapped, cursed. Probably woke the neighbor’s dog around Step 3.
- Got the base grid laid out. Wobbly as a newborn fawn.
- Unrolled that black netting – the “shock absorbing layer.” Felt like a cheap rug pad. Laid it down. Looked like garbage.
Now, the maple planks. Real thin pieces, like tongue-and-groove flooring on a diet. Supposed to slot together over the netting onto the grid. Sounds smooth. Wasn’t smooth. Kept catching on the netting. Had to lift pieces way too carefully, jiggling them like trying to pick a lock. Took me a solid hour just to cover half the damn base.
Midway, I noticed some planks weren’t cut exactly square. Gaps appeared. Had to shove them tighter, forcing them like mismatched Lego, hoping they wouldn’t crack. My knees were screaming.
The Moment of Truth (and Shock… kinda)
Finally finished around sunset. Took that sucker outside onto my driveway – the “portable” part. Dragging it wasn’t fun, felt like moving a heavy rug full of gravel. Got it laid out. Bounced a basketball. Huh.
Okay, the shock thing worked. Felt way softer than dribbling on concrete. Ball came back nice and springy. Less shock in my elbow for sure. Nice bounce. That black netting actually did something!
But here’s the kicker: Walking on it? Sounded like old floorboards in a horror movie. Creaks and groans with every step near the edges. That one plank with the gap? Yeah, it flexes weird every time I land on it. And “maple”? Looks nice, sure, but scratches if you look at it funny. Probably last one season outdoors.
Final Verdict? It kinda works. Shock absorbing? Check. Portable? Barely. It folds, but good luck lifting it alone. Maple? Probably technically true, but paper thin. Would I pay big bucks for this? Hell no. Feels cheap and won’t survive rough play. Maybe stick to a community court or save up for a real slab.
Why am I telling you all this? Because some engineer somewhere designed this plastic nightmare and called it a premium solution. Stuff like this makes me wanna grab tools and build something simple out of thick rubber mats and plywood myself next time. Sometimes the shiny box just ain’t worth the cussin’.
