Starting With a Crappy Idea

So I saw kids busting ankles on our concrete driveway court last month. Got this dumb thought: why not slap shock absorption under hardwood? Everyone told me “Timber ain’t bouncy, dummy” but I had leftover oak planks from Aunt Carol’s deck demo. Grabbed my circular saw and went nuts.

The Ugly Prototype Phase

First try looked like Frankenstein’s coffee table. Cut four 2x4s into squat legs, screwed ’em straight to a 3x3ft oak slab. Threw a basketball at it – bounced like a dead fish. Realized wood legs just transfer shock instead of eating it. Took a beer break to sulk.

Next morning, ripped open an old memory foam mattress topper. Glued chunks under each leg with construction adhesive (that stuff smells like Satan’s armpit). Dropped a 10lb weight from waist height. Legs snapped clean off. Lesson: Foam needs compression space.

Getting Messy With Springs

Dug through my junkyard shed. Found:

• Lawnmower suspension springs (rusted but springy)
• Bike tire inner tubes (sticky)
• Those squishy drawer liner things

Drilled holes through thicker pine bases this time. Wedged springs between oak slab and baseplate with drawer liners as cushions. Wrapped inner tubes around the whole contraption like rubber bands on a toddler’s art project. Looked ridiculous.

When Things Finally Didn’t Explode

Took the abomination outside for real testing. Dribbled hard – ball bounced normal! Jumped on it myself (230lbs). Heard scary creaks but nothing broke. Measured rebound height before/after:

• Concrete: 46 inches drop → 32 inches bounce
• My monstrosity: 46 inches drop → 38 inches bounce

Actual shock absorption! Sorta. Oak surface barely showed dents after 50 jumps.

Epilogue: A Giant Maybe

Would I recommend this? Hell no – proper courts cost thousands for reasons. But proving oak can eat shock if you Frankenstein it right? Weirdly satisfying. Left it outside last night. Rained like hell. Springs rusted already. Back to the shed I go…