Man, let me tell ya how this whole shock absorbing basketball floor project kicked off. See, my neighbor’s kids were bouncing that ball like maniacs every afternoon – BAM! BAM! BAM! right on their concrete backyard. Drove me nuts!

Gathering the Stuff

Figured I’d help build ’em something softer, so jumped online and ordered a bunch of birch planks marketed as “sports flooring.” Showed up last Tuesday, all stacked taller than my dog. Looked legit! Also grabbed:

• Rubber puck thingies for bouncing
• Some foam strips for squishy gaps
• Glue that smelled like chemical warfare
• A metric ton of clamps

Honestly, felt kinda like a mad scientist with all this gear.

The Slapstick Begins

Started laying planks corner-to-corner in my garage first. Thought: “Easy peasy, just match tongue-and-groove!” Yeah, nope. That birch fought me like a greased pig. Half the boards curled up like potato chips the second glue touched ’em. Spent three hours wrestling board #7 alone, sweating buckets, while my cat judged me from her box throne.

Tried hammering stubborn pieces… bad move. Heard this nasty CRACK! Split plank #12 clean in half. Swore loudly. Had to re-cut & sand a replacement piece – sawdust EVERYWHERE. My garage looked like a woodchip bomb went off.

Rubber Band Madness

Finally got all boards kinda flat. Time for those shock pads! Peeled off sticky backs – immediately regretted trimming fingernails yesterday. Those rubber nubs glued themselves to my thumb permanently. Had to soak my hand in vegetable oil like a Thanksgiving turkey. Worked though!

Slapped pads under each plank corner. Important trick: walk sideways like a crab while pressing down. Forgot once – slipped and fell butt-first onto half-finished floor. Pretty sure those birch planks laughed at me.

Foam Fiasco

Saved foam strips for last to fill plank gaps. Measured once? Nah, eyeballed it. Big mistake. Cut strips way too short, leaving nasty gaps. Ran out of foam halfway. Made emergency trip to hardware store covered in sawdust and glue smudges – cashier looked horrified.

FINALLY… SUCCESS?

Two full weekends later, with blistered thumbs and glue in my hair… dropped a basketball. Heard a sweet THUD-thud-thud instead of that awful concrete CLANG. Kids tested it yesterday – jumped like kangaroos without shaking the whole block. Worth every splinter!

Moral? Sometimes you gotta fail hard to bounce higher. And always wear gloves.