Alright folks, today was all about hunting down rubber wood planks for my backyard volleyball court project. Heard this stuff’s decent for parquet flooring, so I grabbed my tape measure and jumped right in.

Total Mess at the Start

First off, I searched “rubber wood timber sale” online. Instant headache – prices all over the place! Some sellers listed per plank, others per square foot, one dude even priced by weight. Like seriously? I ain’t buying bananas here.

Visited three local yards yesterday morning. First place had “Grade A” rubber wood. Boards looked clean but felt lighter than my cat. Seller kept blabbering about “kiln-dried perfection” while tapping ash on the planks. Nah buddy, show me proof or shut up.

The Moisture Disaster Test

Pulled out my cheap moisture meter from Amazon. Tested samples everywhere:

• Outdoor piles: 18-20% moisture (puddles formed when I breathed on ’em)
• Indoor “premium” stock: Still hit 12-15% (seller got real quiet)

Found ONE stack labeled 8-10%. Salesman grinned like a lottery winner till I spotted termite holes. Little buggers waved antennae at me. Pass.

Cutting Through the Grain Nonsense

Third supplier shoved “vertical grain” boards in my face. “Strongest possible!” he claimed. Bull. Cut samples with my pocket saw:

• Vertical grain: Split easier than toothpicks
• Cross grain: Actually held weight when I stood on ’em

Showed him the splintered mess. Dude turned purple yelling about “professional opinions”. Walked out while he was still hollering.

The Actual Buying Part

Finally met a retired carpenter at Yard #4. No fancy talk – showed me axe marks on trunks saying “see these? Means natural sap flow”. Made sense like cold beer on summer day.

We did three things:

• Picked only planks stamped FSC (caught him trying to slip in unmarked ones)
• Checked EVERY board end for dark center spots (fungus waiting to happen)
• Made him write “return if moisture >9%” with permanent marker on receipt

Loaded 200 planks smelling like wet forest. Paid cash for extra discount. Felt like winning a war.

Last-Minute Screwup

Almost forgot! Had the wood delivered to construction site instead of home. Driver dumped it on muddy ground. Spent 2 hours wiping dirt off each plank – lesson learned like a slap to face. Always use pallets, kids.

Now they’re stacked in garage with spacers between. Gonna monitor humidity for two weeks before installation. Whole circus took four days but finally got decent timber without getting scammed. Still got splinters in both thumbs though. Worth it.