Alright folks, let’s talk about this rubber dancing parquet thing. Yeah, that’s what I called it because that’s pretty much what happened trying to get this assembled wooden flooring down. Buckle up, it was an adventure.
Why Even Bother?
Honestly? I saw a video online. Some guy just clicked these planks together like magic, no glue, no nails, over this thin rubber underlay. Looked super easy, quiet, and supposedly good for floating over old floors. My living room floor was this nasty, creaky old thing screaming for an update. Seemed perfect, right? Ha. Famous last thoughts.
What I Bought
Went down to the big box store, grabbed a bunch of boxes of this “assembled wood flooring” – it’s basically laminate pretending to be fancy. Also picked up a big roll of that rubbery underlayment stuff. Figured I had most tools already: a measuring tape, hammer, utility knife, pencil, saw. How hard could it be?
Starting Simple (Famous Last Words)
First job? Get the old room emptied. That took longer than I want to admit. Dust bunnies the size of small pets. After sweeping like crazy, I rolled out the rubber underlayment. This part actually was easy. Just cut it roughly to size with the utility knife, unrolled it smooth side up. Taped the seams together with this heavy tape they sold alongside it. Felt nice and cushy underfoot already.
The Dancing Parquet Begins
Alright, time for the fun part. Opened the first box of planks. Felt pretty solid, looked decent. The instructions said to start in a corner, leaving a little gap around the edges for expansion. Fine.
Laid the first plank down, nice and snug against my spacer blocks in the corner. Pulled out the next plank. This is where the “dance” started. You gotta angle one plank into the groove of the previous one, then kind of push it down flat while simultaneously tapping it sideways with the hammer and a tapping block to close the joint tight. Sounds simple? Nope.
- Angle it just right. Too shallow, it won’t catch. Too steep, you feel like you’re gonna snap the tongue off.
- Push down firmly. The rubber underlay squishes, so you need decent pressure.
- Tap gently but firmly sideways. Gentle? Firm? What does that even mean? Tap too soft, the gap stays. Tap too hard, especially near the end, the whole damn plank can shift out of whack because the rubber underneath gives way.
It took me like half an hour just to get the first three rows feeling somewhat solid and locked together without ugly gaps. Felt like I was wrestling the floor, not laying it. And that rubber underneath? Every time you step near a joint, it bounces slightly. Weird feeling, but kinda like the “dancing” name. You put weight on one spot, another spot nearby kinda settles.
Challenges That Made Me Sweat
- The Saw Situation: Cutting planks around door frames? Yeah, my cheap handsaw was rough. Lots of splintered edges I had to hide under the trim later.
- “Click Lock” My Ass: Not every joint went “click.” Sometimes they clicked but still had a tiny gap. Took way more force than I expected.
- Wall Wobbles: My walls aren’t laser straight. Keeping that initial gap consistent was a nightmare. Had to constantly measure and sneak little wedges in places.
- Rubber Rebound: Because the floor floats, when you’re tapping the end plank sideways, the starting end can sometimes shift back slightly on the rubber. Maddening. Had to constantly check the starting corner wasn’t drifting.
Finally Finishing Up
It took me a solid weekend, plus evenings after work. My knees were killing me. By the time I got to the last row, I was a tapping pro, but man, was I over it. Cutting that final row to fit was stressful – measure five times, cut once! Popped the last piece in, hammered it home. Slapped the baseboards back on to cover the expansion gap. Done!
Is It Perfect?
Nope. If you look real close near the fireplace, you can see two planks that didn’t lock 100% flush. Maybe a little proud. Probably kicked it one too many times in frustration. And you can feel that slight “dance” underfoot sometimes in the middle of the room. But honestly? For the price, and hiding the old mess, it looks a heck of a lot better. It’s quiet, feels warmer than tile. Would I do it again? Maybe. But next time, I’m springing for a slightly thicker, higher grade plank and maybe a less bouncy underlay. And renting a proper saw!
So yeah. Rubber dancing parquet. It lives. And I survived. Barely. Now excuse me while I go pat myself on the back and admire my slightly wobbly floor.
