So yeah I finally got this removable volleyball floor thing working after days of headaches. Wanna know how I did it? Buckle up.

First things first

Saw this ad for portable wooden floors you could assemble and disassemble like LEGO. Thought “perfect for my backyard games!” Ordered the cheapest pine set online. Big mistake. When delivery came, dude dropped this giant heavy box right on my porch. Carried it inside – nearly broke my back.

Opened the box… chaos. Nothing labeled right. Pieces everywhere:

• Bunch of wood panels with grooves
• Metal connectors like bent coins with holes
• Special tape thing that smelled weird
• Plastic spacers that looked like tiny donuts
• Bolts, nuts, washers – all mixed together in one bag

No manual. Zero instructions. Just crumpled Chinese paper showing blurry diagrams.

My brilliant “let’s wing it” plan

Started laying panels on the driveway. Figured grooves must lock together. Tried forcing one into another – CRACK. Split the tongue clean off. Grabbed the gorilla glue, squeezed too much, glued my fingers to the wood for 20 minutes. Peeled my skin off. Awesome.

Got smarter. Put spacers between panels like the crumpled paper kinda showed. Hammered connectors into grooves lightly. Missed the groove twice. Punched straight into the wood. Put holes everywhere. Grabbed the metal connectors – bent three trying to hammer them flush. Sweating buckets now.

The bolt nightmare

Needed to bolt the connectors to the subfloor. Subfloor’s just this rubber mat thing. Bolts kept falling through the oversized holes. Threw in washers randomly. Ended up with washers stacked three deep like a rusty sandwich. Finger-tightened nuts kept coming loose when I walked over panels. Felt like walking on a trampoline made of wood.

Tried tightening properly. Ratchet wrench slipped. Smashed my knuckles against the concrete. Cursed everything. Neighbors definitely heard.

Lightbulb moment & finishing touches

Realized I put panels too tight against each other. Left zero room for wood to swell. Used those plastic donut spacers between panels like gap fillers. Suddenly panels stopped buckling! Taped down edges with that weird tape. Stuff refused to stick to pine. Used bricks to weigh it down overnight.

Disassembly test:

• Unbolted connectors easily enough
• Panels lifted apart smoothly with spacers in place
• Stacked everything in original box – barely fit
• Box felt ten pounds heavier with my sweat and tears mixed in

Key lessons:

• Order one size bigger wrenches than you think you need
• Gaps between wood panels are non-negotiable
• Glue is evil unless your fingers need emergency exfoliation
• Cheapest option usually costs your sanity

It wobbles when someone spikes near the edge but hey – no more muddy shoes tracking through my house after sudden rain. Totally worth the bruised knuckles and temporary bald patches from stress-pulling my hair.