Getting started with this dumb floor project

Right, so the whole idea was to slap together some dance floor panels I could actually move around. My old knees ain’t what they used to be, and dancing on regular concrete feels like a death sentence lately. Saw some fancy “portable” systems online costing a small fortune – yeah, no. Figured I could bang something out myself cheap.

Step one: buying wood like an idiot

Went down to the big hardware box store first thing Tuesday. Planned to grab nice plywood sheets, right? Wrong. Saw those cheaper tongue-and-groove pine boards stacked up and thought, “Eh, that’ll do.” Yeah, dumb move number one. Didn’t even think about warping. Just chucked ten boards in the cart like a champ.

Cutting the mess into pieces

Got home, pulled out my battered circular saw. Measured a 3×3 foot square on the first board with a wonky ruler. Sparks flew, wood dust everywhere. Cut out the panel – edges looked like a beaver chewed ’em off. Took forever sanding that first stupid square kinda smooth with coarse paper. Sweating bullets already. Did this eight more times. Back hurt. Regret set in deep.

Making these panels actually connect

Alright, single panels are useless. Needed a way to hook ’em together. Brain said: strips of wood underneath. Dug out some leftover 1x2s from the garage. Cut a bunch of 2-foot lengths. Slapped three of these strips flat onto the underside of a panel. Pre-drilled holes like a good boy. Then screwed like crazy with short screws. Felt sturdy. Did this for all nine panels.

Now the trick: making it removable, duh. Instead of glue or nailing, just screwed the connection strips onto every panel. Used longer screws where the strips would link panels together, but not going through the top wood! Made sure they could handle the connection.

The “aha!” moment and the big problem

Connected two panels. Slapped the sides together so the strips lined up underneath. Screwed right through the strip of one panel INTO the strip of its neighbor. Solid! Felt like a genius. Connected a third one. Triumph!

Then I stood on it.

It wobbled like crazy where the panels met. Nearly busted my backside. Felt like such an idiot. The wood strips alone weren’t stiff enough across the joins. Needed extra strength.

Scratched my head. Dug through junk pile. Found metal mending plates – those thin, flat, perforated metal things. Bolted one of these plates right where two panels joined, fixing one half to the strips underneath each panel across the connection. HUGE difference. No more wobble zone. Still screws holding it, so I can remove the plates later.

Testing my terrible creation

Slapped down a test section of three panels in the garage. Took off shoes. Attempted some lame shuffling and stomping. Didn’t break! Didn’t fall apart! Small victory dance commenced (carefully). Panels stayed linked. Felt decently springy. Made mental note: next time, maybe springs? Just kidding. I was done.

Disassembling it was the real test. Got my drill. Unscrewed the mending plate bolts where the panels linked. Then unscrewed the long screws connecting the strips. Panels pulled apart easy. Wasn’t fast, but definitely possible. Stashed the panels against the wall.

What worked (sorta):

• Tongue & groove boards gave some alignment help joining panels side-to-side.
• Wood strips underneath gave structure to screw into.
• Long screws + metal plates connecting the strips at the joins = rock solid connection.
• Nothing’s glued! Just screws holding it together, so it’s removable.

What sucked (mostly me):

• Warmer, humid day? Those cheap pine boards will definitely warp. Shoulda got plywood.
• Sanding was hell. Edges still a bit rough.
• Whole thing is heavier than I thought. Portable? More like luggable.
• Spent way more on screws, plates, and ibuprofen than the actual wood.

It ain’t pretty. Feels rough under the toes. But does it work? Yeah, kinda. My knees thank it. And when the neighbors complain about stomping? I can actually pick it up and move it. Mostly works. Mostly.