Alright folks, gather round. Today’s mess, I mean project, was building some portable dance flooring. Yeah, you heard me. The missus wanted something she could practice her steps on, outside sometimes, but not have a giant wooden slab sitting there all year. Portable. Removable. Sounded simple. Famous last words.

The Grand Idea (And Where I Went Wrong)

So, the plan wasn’t brain surgery. Make small wood panels that click together, lay them down, dance, then pack ’em away. Easy peasy, right? Ha! First mistake. I grabbed some leftover plywood sheets I had hanging around the garage. Figured it was cheaper than buying proper stuff. Yeah, good start.

Cutting Chaos

Right, needed to cut these sheets into squares. Measured roughly what I thought was a good size – about 2 feet by 2 feet? Marked the first sheet with a pencil and a metal ruler. Grabbed the circular saw. Noise time. Sliced through it… not exactly straight. My line was wavy as heck. Turned the plywood, tried again. Slightly better, still not perfect. Ended up with a stack of wonky squares. Sanded the edges down with coarse sandpaper because, ow, splinters are no joke. Made a right mess, dust everywhere.

The Connecting Nightmare

This is where it got fun. How do you make them lock together? I saw those fancy interlocking edges on real flooring. Nope. Way too fiddly. Needed something simple and tough. Rummaged in my hardware bin. Found some small metal hook-and-eye plates? Like for cabinets. Tried screwing them to the sides of two panels. Weird angle. Didn’t grip well. Screws felt loose. Scrap that.

Next bright idea. Zip ties! Drilled holes near the edges of a panel, fed a zip tie through holes on the next panel and pulled tight. Actually kinda worked! But pulling them apart later meant cutting every zip tie. Pain in the neck. Also looked terrible. What a mess.

Tried small bolts and wingnuts next. Drilled holes again, bolted two panels together. Held nicely, wingnuts were easy to turn by hand. Winner! Mostly. Drilled more holes than I intended in some panels. Real fun times. Made sure the bolt heads sat flush so nobody tripped.

Bottom Grips (Or Lack Thereof)

Tested a couple panels on my concrete patio. Slipped like they were on ice. Not good. Almost took a tumble. Couldn’t have dancers sliding around! Needed grip on the bottom. Remembered seeing those little rubber dots on furniture legs. Found some in a drawer – little felt pads actually. Stuck a few on each corner of the panel’s underside. Tried again. Better, not perfect. Still some slip. Then saw a roll of that rubbery mesh shelf liner. Cut rough squares of that and glued them to the whole bottom of one panel with wood glue, weighed it down with paint cans. Next day, tested. Grip was awesome! Bit ugly, but who cares about the bottom?

Finally… Sorta Dancing

Made four panels for a test run. Swept the patio clean, laid them down in a little square. Snapped the bolts through the holes, tightened the wingnuts finger-tight. Checked the grip – solid. The missus stepped on. Tapped a foot. Solid. Did a little shimmy. Panels didn’t shift! Success! They feel a little… bouncy? Yeah, plywood flexes. Not like a real floor, but for practice? Totally works. Best part? Five minutes later, I unscrewed the wingnuts, picked the panels up, stacked them, and chucked ’em back in the garage corner. Done.

So, it ain’t pretty. The plywood edges are rough even after sanding. The bolt heads and wingnuts stick out a bit. And it smells vaguely like sawdust and rubber shelf liner. But hey, it works. Moves, grips, stows. Mission accomplished, ugly as it is. The wife seems pleased, at least until the next wild idea pops into her head.