Okay, so I decided to make this removable dance floor for my living room because my downstairs neighbors started banging on the ceiling whenever I practiced salsa moves. Crazy, right? Anyway, here’s exactly what went down when I built this thing.
Gathering the junk
First I dragged myself to the hardware store down the street. Grabbed these stuff:
- Five sheets of half-inch plywood (that “sanded” kind that still gives you splinters)
- A box of wood screws that looked tough
- Some ugly gray carpet scraps from the discount bin
- Cheap metal L-brackets
- A tube of wood glue that expired last month
Total cost? Way more than I told my partner. “It’s an investment!” I said when she saw the receipt.
The messy cutting part
Laid the plywood sheets on my driveway because who has a workshop? Borrowed my neighbor’s circular saw – the one that sounds like a dying chainsaw. Measured out 2×2 foot squares because that seemed manageable. Pro tip: Wind blows sawdust directly into your eyeballs when working outdoors. Cut twelve squares total, but two ended up crooked like trapezoids because I sneezed mid-cut.
Screwing things together badly
Here’s how assembly went:
- Slapped wood glue on the edges
- Held two pieces together like they owed me money
- Drilled pilot holes that were slightly too big (Oops)
- Screwed L-brackets across the seams so hard the plywood cracked once
After three panels, I realized the brackets were digging into my feet during test shuffles. Had to flip all the panels over to countersink them with a chisel. Made a crater in one tile that looks like a meteor strike now.
Trimming the baseboards disaster
Had to hack chunks out of my living room baseboards to fit this monstrosity flush against the wall. Used a handsaw like a caveman. Wood chips everywhere. The gap looks like a beaver chewed it. But hey – no more tripping on the edge when moonwalking!
Making it “removable” (kinda)
The big trick was leaving all tiles separate. Didn’t attach them permanently because I need to stash these behind the sofa. But when I danced across them? The whole thing spread apart like butter on toast. Fixed it by sticking adhesive velcro strips between tiles. Still slides a bit during spins but won’t launch tiles across the room anymore.
The questionable finishing touches
Glued those nasty carpet scraps on top so it wouldn’t be slippery. Used way too much glue – some oozed up between fibers and dried like crispy snot. Then decided to stain the edges “mahogany” but only had cherrywood stain. Now it looks like plywood with bruised borders.
Final result? It’s lumpy and one corner has a permanent wobble. But nobody’s banging on the ceiling anymore! And the best part? Takes me under five minutes to assemble before dance parties. Just snap the velcro strips together and boom – instant trashy dance studio. Might add disco lights next month if I don’t lose a finger in the wiring.
