Okay friends, let me tell you about my crazy idea for the garden this year: removable dancing pine timber. Sounds weird, right? Yeah, definitely rolled my eyes too. But I saw some leftover fence boards and thought… why not try?

The Starting Point: Trash to Treasure?

Basically, I had these old pine boards stacked behind the shed. Weather-beaten, kinda gray, some cracks. Free wood is good wood, my motto. Figured I could make some funky garden ornament.

The “Removable” Part Messed Me Up First

Wanted it easy to take down for winter. Easy peasy, I thought. Drilled big holes in two big stones for posts. Slid the pine boards onto some thick metal rods stuck in the stones. Big mistake. First gust of wind? Timber! Crash. Dust cloud. Neighbors definitely saw. Felt like an idiot. Those rods? Not long enough, too skinny. Shaky mess.

• Try Two: Ditched the stones. Got heavier concrete blocks. Bigger rods this time, way thicker and longer. Hammered them deep into the blocks. Slid the timber onto the rods. Whew. Actually held together when I shoved it. Minor win. Not graceful, but stood.

Making it “Dance” Was the Real Joke

Pine timber just sits there, obviously. Needed movement. Saw those old metal windmill blades in the garage. Thought… maybe?

• Strapped one blade flat to the top timber with rope. Wind came… wobble wobble… plop. Blade gave up.
• Then bolted a blade upright to the side. Wind caught it… WHIRR-CLACK-CLACK-SNAP! Blade shot across the lawn like a frisbee. Pine didn’t move at all. Epic fail.

Took a breather. Probably looked nuts yelling encouragement at pine boards.

Lightbulb Moment (Sort Of)

Instead of trying to move the timber, why not hang things from it? Had some shiny pie tins. Punched holes.

Grabbed fishing line. Tied the pie tins onto the timber at different heights like weird chimes. Also wired some painted spoons on there.

Next breeze? CLINK… RATTLE… FLUTTER… The timber itself was still as a rock. But the tins spun! The spoons rattled! It was alive! Kinda. Had sound, had motion. Close enough to “dancing” for me after that chaos.

The End Result (For Now)

Got my wonky pine structure. Blocks look like concrete tumors on the lawn. The rods stick up like antennae. But? I can lift the whole timber right off. And when the wind hits? The tin and spoon show is actually fun. Weird little symphony. Messed up? Tons. Fun to watch? Weirdly, yes. My kid calls it “The Shaky Monster.” Worth the headache? Jury’s still out until it blows apart for real. Piece of junk! But hey, my removable, kinda-sorta dancing, pine junk. Went to bed with sawdust in my hair and a sore back. Typical Tuesday.