The whole messy process

So this removable dance floor project started simple enough. Saw the boxes delivered – huge, heavy suckers sitting on my porch, mocking me. Dragged ’em inside, nearly broke my back. Opened the first one, expecting nice instructions, you know? Got a crumpled piece of paper with some blurry diagrams instead. Typical.

First step was checking the subfloor. My garage floor looked okay-ish at first glance. Swept it good, felt it. Wrong. Found dips and bumps I never noticed walking on it before. Had to get this concrete leveler stuff. Mixed it up – felt like baking a disaster cake. Poured it, smoothed it messy as heck, waited two whole days hoping it dried flat enough. Nerve-wracking.

Actually putting the darn thing together

Finally started laying out the removable wooden parquet blocks. They clicked together? Yeah, in theory. In practice? Absolute wrestling match. Needed that rubber mallet thing they included.

• First row: Ha. Thought lining it up straight meant something. Got five pieces together perfectly, felt smug. Sixth piece? Wouldn’t lock. Stuck out like a sore thumb. Took it all apart. Started again.
• Edges: Oh man, the edges near the wall. Awkward angles, cuts needed. Measured three times, cut once – still a bit off. That gap hides behind trim, right? Right?
• Mallet duty: Smacked those connection joints so hard my arm ached. Click-clack-clack-BANG! Neighbors probably thought I was building a tank.

Sweat pouring, knees sore, took me like four hours just for a small section. Kept stepping back, squinting, adjusting pieces. Looked crooked. Always looked crooked.

Finishing up (mostly)

Got all the pieces down eventually. Sorta flat. Sorta locked. Jumped on it a few times, heart in my throat. Held! Mostly felt solid. But. Found one block near the edge… felt slightly bouncy. Had to lift the whole dang adjacent row to re-seat that one stupid block. More mallet smashing. Thumb got hit. Ow.

Swept it clean finally. Stood there looking at it – my own little dance floor. Felt ridiculously satisfying after all that hassle. My back hurt, I had splinters, and my thumbs were purple from the mallet… but darn it, I built a floor that clicks together and comes apart. Would I do it again? Ask me after the pain fades. Right now? Glorious chaos… but it works. Mostly.