Oh man, this removable dance floor project? Pure chaos from day one. My kid started tap dancing like a wild horse on the old carpet. Landlord threatened eviction notices – again. Said no permanent changes, but the downstairs neighbor’s ceiling was shaking. Had to fix this disaster.

The Dumb Planning Phase

Stared at cheap laminate flooring samples for hours. Wrong, wrong, all wrong. Too slick, too thin, too fake looking. Then I spotted rough maple planks behind the shed – leftover from a neighbor’s botched table project. Thick, real wood. Grain like storm clouds. Heavy though. Real heavy.

Measured the garage space. Did math on scrap paper. Screwed up twice. Ran out for more beer. Finally scribbled: 8 feet by 8 feet. Squares. Interlocking. Gotta come apart. Gotta not destroy the rental floor underneath.

Sweaty Garage Disaster Time

• Cutting Nightmare: Borrowed Joe’s jigsaw. Blade chewed the maple like stale bread. Teeth screamed. Sawdust stuck to my sweat. Ended up with planks shorter than my temper.
• Sanding Armageddon: 60-grit sandpaper? Useless. Went full caveman with 40 grit. Three hours. Arms jelly. Wood smooth like river stone though. Worth the rage.
• The “Joining” Circus: Bought cheap strap hinges. Drilled pilot holes. Split the plank edge anyway. Swore at squirrels outside. Started over with wood glue AND screws this time. Threw clamps on like shackles. Waited two days eating microwave noodles.
• Bottom Side Buffoonery: Flipped the first 4×4 square. Slapped rubber furniture pads on corners. Not enough. Added felt strips down the seams where planks met. More glue. More waiting. More noodles.

The Wobbly Victory Dance

Dragged the first square to the garage center. Felt like lifting a dead horse. Clicked the next square into place with the hinges. Didn’t collapse. Kid stomped on it. No echo. No vibration shakes. Just clean taps.

Made four squares total. Scrap wood, half a bucket of glue, ruined drill bits. But they lock together flat. Felt grips the cement floor. Taps don’t sound like shotgun blasts now. Best part? Landlord walked by yesterday. Squinted. Said “Huh. Can I borrow that for my sister’s Zumba thing?” Yeah. Might eat steak tonight.