Buying That Flooring
Okay, so I saw this “removable dancing hevea assembly wooden flooring” stuff online. Looked fancy, easy, just snap together. Perfect for covering up that ugly old carpet in my spare room I wanna make a little workout space? Thought it was a genius idea. Boom, clicked buy before I even finished reading the description properly. Big mistake, maybe?
What Showed Up
Big heavy box arrived. Dragged it inside, got a nasty paper cut opening it. Packed tight. Piles of long wooden planks – hevea wood they said, feels like rubber almost? And these skinny foam mat things to put underneath. Also a box full of weird little plastic clips and connectors, looked fragile. A small rubber mallet and pulling tool were tossed in like an afterthought.
Figuring Out This Puzzle
Started easy, right? Rolled out the foam stuff. Looks messy, but whatever. Laid down the first plank in a corner. Fine. Grabbed the second plank. Now, they have these grooves cut along the long edges. You gotta sorta tilt this plank at a funny angle and hook it onto the first one’s lip? Yeah, that felt unnatural. Jiggled it, nothing. Pressed it hard, still nothing. Whacked it lightly with the stupid rubber mallet – BAM! Snapped right in. Okay, progress.
Did the same thing with the next plank. Hook, tilt, jiggle, whack! Seemed to be working. Got cocky. Halfway across the room… problem. The plank wouldn’t sit flat. One end hooked, the other end sticking up like a seesaw. Cursed. Realized the grooves are very picky – must be totally clean. Tiny speck of dust? Forget it. Had to pull it back out (used that pulling tool – felt like it would snap the plank), blow on the groove like an idiot, try again. Still didn’t want to lie down. Ended up kneeling on it with all my weight till it went CLACK.
Connectors & Corners
The short ends! WORST part. Those flimsy plastic clips. Plank A has holes. Plank B has little plastic hooks on its underside? You line up Plank B over Plank A’s holes, trying not to breathe too hard, and gently tap it… and the hook just flops sideways. Happened again! Had to straighten the bent plastic with my finger. Tap tap… CRACK. Broke one. Thankfully had spares. Got it eventually by being super slow, gentle like defusing a bomb. Corners involved extra weird connector pieces, same fragile nonsense.
Getting Stuck & Getting Mad
You hit a wall? Literally. To fit the last plank in a row, you gotta slide the whole row sideways a bit. Impossible if you don’t leave room from the start. I didn’t. Panic time. Undid like 6 planks near the wall just to wrestle the last piece in, scratching it badly on the baseboard. Loud noises happened. Maybe a frustrated stomp.
It Works… Kinda?
Finally finished after way too many hours. Floor looks okay. Not perfect, edges a bit wonky where planks didn’t align perfectly. Stepped on it. Feels bouncy? Hevea wood is weird. Danced on it badly just to test the “dancing” claim. Didn’t fall apart! Small victories. The connectors look flimsy though. How “removable” it’ll be without breaking those clips… I have serious doubts.
Things I Learned:
- This ain’t no Lego set. Simple planks have weird demands.
- Clean grooves are your religion.
- Leave BIG space near walls.
- Those plastic connectors are your enemy. Handle with kid gloves.
- Rubber mallet becomes your new best friend/worst enemy.
- Patience? Need lots. Probably more than you have.
It’s down. It feels weirdly bouncy and rubbery. Looks like wood. Called it “dancing” so I danced. Remains to be seen if I can ever pick it up again without turning it into firewood. Would I do it again? Ask me after I’ve forgotten how sore my knees are.
