Starting This Mess

Okay so last weekend I got this wild idea. Saw some fancy dancers on YouTube practicing on these springy floors, thought, “Hey, I could totally build one of those… removable!” Yeah, big talk. My living room was about to become a construction zone.

Step one was figuring out the base. Grabbed these 2×4 planks I had lying around from that abandoned bookshelf project. Measured my space – kinda eyeballed it, big mistake number one. Cut them roughly to size with my old saw. Dust everywhere, neighbors probably thought I was building a coffin.

The Engineery Bit That Went Sideways

Now for the “engineer board” part. Haha. Needed springs, right? Went rummaging. Found some random coil springs in the garage – no clue where they came from, maybe an old chair? Bolted them onto the frame I just made. Used washers I found in a rusty coffee tin. Looked insanely wonky and uneven. Pushed down… nothing. Too stiff. Shoved thinner springs in between the coils like a total hack. Still kinda pathetic, but at least it had some bounce. Sort of.

Then came the actual dance surface. Wanted wood flooring look. Bought some cheap laminate planks – the thin, click-together kind. Laid them over my janky spring frame. Clickity-clacked them together. Whole thing wobbled like a drunk jellyfish. Stepped on the edge? CRACK. One plank snapped. Fantastic. Took it apart, muttered some not-so-nice words.

Making It Somewhat Removable (Mostly)

The “removable” dream was nearly dead. Gluing it down was cheating. Screwing it down ruined the point. Stared at the mess. Had a beer. Brain said: “Velcro?” Tried those heavy-duty sticky-back Velcro strips. Stuck one side to the plank undersides, the other side to the frame corners. Stuck it together… held! Pulled it apart… Velcro ripped right off the wood, leaving fuzzy glue crap. Rubbish.

Finally found these chunky plastic buckles in my camping gear. Like for backpacks. Screwed the male part onto the frame ends, female part onto the underside of the laminate. It clicked! Pulled the buckle clips – POP! Whole top piece lifts off. Not graceful, but hey, it comes apart! Mostly. Sometimes the buckles snag. Still counts.

The Grand (Slightly Embarrassing) Finale

Did it work? Well… I stood on it. Felt bouncy in a “this might collapse” way. Did a terrible shuffle. Floor stayed up! Laminate pieces didn’t fly off! The buckles held! Huge win? Definitely declared victory. It sits in my living room now. Looks weird. Wobbles if you jump hard. But it unclips! Storing the frame under the couch? Impossible. Top piece leans against the wall looking confused. Would I do it again? Probably not. Learned stuff? Maybe:

• Eyeballing measurements leads to tears (and wasted wood).
• Random garage springs need a PhD to behave.
• Laminate hates unsupported edges with a passion.
• Velcro is a lying liar sometimes.
• Camping buckles? Unexpected heroes.

So yeah, removable dancing engineer board assembly wooden flooring… exists. In my house. Kinda. Done.