Alright folks, grab a coffee ’cause I got another messy project story for ya. This time it was this crazy idea: a removable basketball rim made from solid maple. Like, why? Heck, I dunno, the wood grain looked nice online and I wanted something heavier than the flimsy stuff.

The “Bright Idea” Phase

So it started simple, right? I ordered this big honkin’ piece of maple timber online. Pricey. Figured I’d just screw the standard hoop bracket right onto it. Easy peasy. Delivered it to the garage workshop – damn thing was heavy as all get-out. Had to wrestle it onto the saw horses. Thunk!

Plan? What Plan?

Okay, maybe shoulda measured first. Grabbed the bracket, lined it up on the timber… whoops. The bracket holes were tiny compared to the giant screws I pictured using with the thick wood. Totally spaced on that. Started digging around my old junk bins for longer screws – no dice. Cursed under my breath. Of course.

Went back online hunting for monstrous screws. Found some lag bolts that might work, felt a bit smug. Ordered ’em. Waited. Played with the dogs.

Getting Stuck (Literally)

Bolts finally showed up. Got my electric drill, a wrench, and all my might. Tried pushing one bolt into the pilot hole I drilled… felt like trying to push a car uphill. Maple’s hard. Like, really hard. My drill just groaned. Ended up having to sweat like crazy, twisting that damn wrench with both hands, legs braced against the timber. Progress? Millimeter by creaking millimeter. Arms were jelly afterwards. And that was just one bolt!

Lightbulb Moment (Sort Of)

Got one bolt sorta in, leaning on the timber gasping. Looked at this thick, stubborn slab and the skinny bracket. Thought: “This is stupid. I wanna take it down sometimes.” Suddenly had this vision of the whole board just… slamming down one day. Bad. Needed a way to lock it to something sturdy.

Scratching my head, I remembered these heavy-duty metal straps I had kicking around – leftover from a fence project years back. Rusty, but thick. Grabbed one. Held it against the timber edge. Idea: bolt the hoop bracket to this strap first, then screw the strap itself to the timber with way more, smaller screws. Spreading the load, kinda? Then maybe bolt the strap to the pole mount? Worth a shot.

Messy workaround activated. Drill time again. Made holes in the strap for the bracket bolts. More holes for attaching it to the wood. My drill battery died halfway. Ugh. Found the charger. Waited. Drank cold coffee.

Assembly Line Chaos

Okay: Got the bracket bolted to the metal strap solidly. That bit felt good. Then, hauled the whole contraption back to the timber. Wrestled it into place. Pre-drilled holes into the maple again – slow going, sparks practically flying. Drove in a bunch of thick screws through the strap into the timber, feeling like I was building Frankenstein’s rim. Still heavy, but maybe safer?

Finally, the moment of truth: the pole mount. This is the thing bolted to the pole in my driveway. Went outside. Held the whole timber-strap-bracket beast up against the mount. Lined up the holes I’d hoped would work on the strap. Close, but no cigar. Two holes kinda matched. Two others? Way off. More cursing. Dragged everything back inside. Grabbed the drill again, widened holes in the strap into crude slots. Precision? Nah. Function over form.

Back outside. Got help this time (got smarter) – neighbor held the heavy timber while I jammed bolts through the slotted holes into the pole mount. Tightened ’em down as hard as my aching shoulders could manage.

Does. It. Work?

Stepped back. Held my breath. Gave the rim a solid yank downwards. Timber shuddered, but the bolts held. The strap contraption stayed put. Tried wiggling it side-to-side. Firm. Solid maple didn’t budge. Slammed the ball against the board a few times. Satisfying thwack. Didn’t fall. Didn’t wobble drastically.

Success? Sorta. It’s up. It’s sturdy enough for now. It’s definitely removable – just gotta loosen those four big mounting bolts on the pole, and the whole timber monster slides off the strap. Looks… industrial? Brutal? Definitely homemade. But hey, it smells like maple and took a pounding. That counts for something, right?

Total time? Way longer than I’ll admit. Lessons? Measure twice (or thrice), maple fights back, and sometimes the solution involves rusty straps and brute force. Would I do it again? Probably not. But it’s unique. Check my pics next post. Still kinda proud of the stubborn beast.