Today I gotta show ya this basketball project that drove me nuts but finally worked. See, I love hoopin’ but live in a rental. Landlord says NO permanent mounts on the garage. Had to figure out a way to get a decent hoop up that wouldn’t leave marks. “Removable,” they said. “Like hell that’ll hold,” I thought.

The Stupid Plan

Started dumb as usual. Thought maybe some kinda giant clamp? Nah. Borrowed the neighbor’s clamp tool – thing barely opened wide enough. Slapped it on the garage header beam. Then tried hanging a cheap plastic hoop from it. Yeah… that wobbled like a drunk squirrel after one shot. Plastic backboard cracked in 10 minutes. Back to square zero.

Went rummaging in my junk pile. Found:

• Some leftover pressure-treated 2x10s (kinda rough but sturdy).
• A bunch of rusty ol’ galvanized lag bolts from god knows where.
• Two heavy-duty shelf brackets that look like they held up a Buick once.
• Part of an old tire? Nah, threw that back.

Got the idea: maybe build a solid wooden backboard behind the garage beams, like wedging it in there? But how to make it stick without screws?

The Heavy Part

Measured the gap between the garage door beams – about 48 inches wide. Cut my gnarly 2x10s to make a solid panel about 4 feet wide and 3 feet tall. Used shorter pieces vertically like studs behind, making it real thick and heavy. Thought the weight alone might jam it solid.

Grabbed those shelf brackets. Bolted one bracket super tight onto each side of the wooden backboard panel, sticking out kinda like ears.

Figured the plan was: lift this beast up high, slide the brackets onto the tops of the garage door header beams, then drop it down so the beams sat on the brackets. Gravity would hold it, right? Looked sketchy as heck.

The Falling Down Part

Needed muscle. Bribed my buddy Mike with beer. We lift this monster slab way over our heads, trying to hook the brackets over the beams. Scraped paint off, slammed fingers twice, almost dropped it on his truck. Got one side kinda hooked on. Went to do the other side… THUD. Whole thing crashed onto my lawn chair. Flat as a pancake. Beer break.

Mike says, “What about diagonal braces? Stopping the wobble?” Lightbulb moment. Found shorter wood scraps. Cut them at angles and bolted one from the bottom of the backboard OUT to each of those bracket “ears.” Kinda made triangle shapes going backwards. Not pretty, but physics.

The Almost Victory

Lifted the beast again. Heart pounding. Hooked one bracket over the beam, held breath, hooked the other. Lowered it slow. Dropped it onto the beams. Held! Then we leaned into it HARD. Shoved it side to side. Some wiggle, but felt solid. It didn’t fall!

Screwed the actual rim and net onto the face. Grabbed the ball… bounced it… took a deep breath. Swish. Hit the backboard BANG. Solid! Like hitting a wall!

Tested it for two weeks. Rain, wind, me flailing and bricking shots. Thing stays put. Wiggles less than Mike thinks. Comes off too! Just lift straight up and detach the brackets from the beams.

Total win? Landlord hasn’t complained about holes. My kids and me shoot hoops every evening. Backboard ain’t perfect, got scars and dents. But it works. Sometimes stupid heavy timber beats fancy. Just gotta fight it first.