Alright folks, let me walk you through how we actually built that outdoor volleyball court with wooden flooring last Tuesday. Buckle up, ’cause it got messy before it got good.

First Things First – The Messy Ground Situation

I dragged the team out to the backyard spot we picked around 7AM. Damn thing was all uneven – like some gopher had been throwing a party overnight. We grabbed shovels and started hacking away at lumps and bumps. Took us a solid hour just stomping around like idiots trying to flatten dirt. Forgot sunscreen too – shoulders got fried.

Dumpster Diving for Supplies

Trucks rolled up with wood panels later than promised – shocker. We started unloading those bad boys. Had these super basic tools:

• Hammers with splintered handles
• Measuring tapes that kept snapping back
• Levels that looked bent outta the box

Realized quick we were missing corner braces. Sent Dave sprinting to the hardware store while we cursed under our breath.

The “Straight Line” Illusion

Started laying planks sideways near the net area thinking “how hard could it be?” First three boards looked drunk – gaps wide enough to lose car keys in. Had to pull ’em all up while Kyle kept yelling about precise 45-degree angles. Almost chucked a hammer at him.

Got smarter around lunchtime: started hammering from the middle outwards instead of edge-to-edge. Boards stopped fighting us so much when we did that. Still took four tries to get the first row actually straight. Sweat dripping in my eyes didn’t help.

Nail Nightmare

Thought we were cruising until the hammering started. First nail bent sideways when John hit it. Next three just vanished into the wood like magic tricks. Found out later we bought cheap softwood nails instead of hardwood ones. Half the freaking box was useless.

Switched to drilling pilot holes with that wheezy old drill from my garage. Slowed us way down but finally got boards staying put without splitting. My thumb’s still purple from where I smashed it holding a plank.

The Final Stretch Panic

Last section by the baseline was all wrong – ground dipped like a cereal bowl there. Had to rip up two perfectly good boards to jam gravel under the supports. Dave came back with triangular brackets instead of squares. We made ’em work by bending ’em with pliers. Looked janky as hell but held.

Finished around sunset covered in dirt and splinters. First test ball hit the court? Didn’t bounce right at all near service line. Had to yank up three panels and add extra padding underneath. Third try finally got that sweet thump sound.

Moral of the story? Everything takes twice as long and costs three times more than you think. But seeing the team spiking balls later? Worth every damn splinter.