My Floor Mess Adventure

Okay so my living room needed new flooring bad. Saw this “pad dancing soft maple” junk online and thought yeah that sounds fancy but cheap. Grabbed a box from the hardware store without reading much. Mistake number one.

Got home, ripped up the old carpet. Dust flew everywhere. Sneezed like crazy. Underneath was uneven concrete patches – looked like a war zone. Said “screw it, the pad will fix it” and started unrolling the thin foam. Took forever to line up straight.

Then opened the maple flooring box. Felt surprisingly light. Pieces had these clicky grooves. Sounded simple. First piece went smooth, proud smile. Second piece? Clicked but stuck up high. Stomped it down like I was killing spiders. Heard a nasty crunch sound. Pulled it up – cracked tongue on the edge. Dumb.

Kept going. Found out you gotta whack it sideways with a rubber mallet sometimes. Hit my thumb so hard it turned purple. Nearly cussed out loud. Pieces didn’t slide easy either – needed a special pull bar tool I didn’t buy. Used a crowbar wrapped in a towel instead. Scratched two planks bad.

Halfway done, saw the whole floor slanting towards the wall. Panicked. Hadn’t left that little gap they tell you about for swelling. Spent an hour prying up finished sections with my crowbar-towel contraption. Scraped knuckles bloody. Left an ugly gap filled with bits of foam.

The last row was torture. Needed to cut planks lengthwise. My saw blade was dull. Made jagged edges. Used so much force the piece snapped. Third one finally kinda fit. Bashed it into place. Floor looks okay from the door. Get close and you see the gap near the wall is crooked, two planks are scratched, and there’s one tiny hump near the middle that squeaks when you step just right.

Done now. Sweat soaked through my shirt. Back hurts. Probably did ten things wrong. But hey, it clicks together. Mostly. And nobody’s stepping near that wall gap anyway. Learned my lesson: watch the install video BEFORE buying, dummy.