The Moment I Decided

Alright, so my tiny apartment floor felt like concrete after standing all day working. Found a cheap “click-together” laminate wood flooring kit online. Pictures looked nice, easy peasy. Thought I could slap this thing down in a weekend, no problem. Big mistake, probably.

The Unboxing Disaster

Got the big, heavy boxes delivered. Hauled ’em inside. Opened the first box and… surprise! Smelled kinda weird, like sawdust and glue. Planks looked alright, I guess? Definitely felt flimsier than I expected. Laid a few on the floor just to see. Realized my floor wasn’t perfectly flat. Not even close. Panic mode started bubbling.

• Problem 1: Old floor bumps everywhere. Like tiny mountains.
• Problem 2: Instructions? More like hieroglyphics. One tiny folded paper.
• Problem 3: My knees already started complaining just looking at it.

The Click That Didn’t Click

Alright, tough it out time. Swept the floor obsessively. Tried lining up the first row along the wall. The planks had this tongue-and-groove thing. Supposed to just “click” together. Yeah, right. First plank went in easy. Second plank? Needed to angle it, slide it in, then press down. Sounded simple. It wasn’t. Tried jiggling it, hammering it gently with a mallet I grabbed cheap – THUMP THUMP THUMP. Nothing. Just refused to lock. Got frustrated, pushed too hard, heard a horrible cracking sound. Nearly put my fist through a wall.

The Crooked Dance

Somehow got a few rows done eventually. Stood back. Looked amazing… for like two seconds. Then I saw it. The whole section bowed out crooked like a drunken snake near the middle. How?! Spent an hour taking it all apart again. Turned out the starter row slipped while I was wrestling the other boards. Had to use stupid spacers against the wall. Found some random plastic things that sorta worked. Made progress, inch by painful inch. Had to shave the last plank in a row to fit. Used a jigsaw – super nervous, cut it crooked. Looked janky.

Final Stomp Test

Took me the whole damn weekend plus Monday night. My back felt like I aged 20 years. But finally, the last piece clicked in. Mostly. Cut it too short? A bit. Used some leftover scraps to fill a gap the instructions didn’t mention. Looks… okay? From a distance. Jumped on it. Didn’t break. Walked across. Feels kinda springy in one spot? Probably messed up the underlayment there. But hey, it’s down. My floor looks like… wood! Sorta. Didn’t drown myself in glue or glue my fingers together, so small win.

So Was It Worth It?

Cheap as chips? Yes. Easy-peasy? Heck no. Looks professional? Absolutely not. Got some gaps, one corner looks lopsided, and it feels like a trampoline near the TV. But man, every time I step on it? Smug satisfaction. I screwed it up bad, fought with it, yelled at some planks, and it mostly works. Feels more like my floor now. Just gotta avoid looking too close. And maybe don’t dance the Macarena on the soft spot. Pad dancing survivor floor, achieved.