So I got this old basketball that looked like it went through a war. Padding was shredded, bounced like a brick. Had some rubber tree timber scraps lying around from that failed coffee table project last spring. Thought hell, why not try patching it up?
Gatherin’ Junk
Dug through my shed like a raccoon hunting dinner. Found:
- That gnarly timber slab – still sticky with dried rubber sap
- Carpenter’s glue that expired in 2018 (smelled kinda funky)
- Box cutter with half a blade
- Clamps from when I tried fixing my toilet seat
Mangle Time
Tried slicing the timber into strips – total disaster. Stuff kept curling like bacon in a pan. Cut too thick? Wouldn’t bend. Too thin? Snapped like crackers. Tore open three fingers trying to hold that slippery timber steady. Blood? Yeah, that happened.
Glue Mess
Smeared that sketchy glue all over the ball’s bare spots. Slapped timber strips on while it was still weeping rubber tree juice. Clamped on some rusted C-clamps and waited 48 hours. Big mistake. Peeled it back and found:
- Timber warped into potato chips
- Glue turned into green cottage cheese gunk
- More ripped leather than before
Desperate Moves
Grabbed a hammer like a moron. Thought pounding the timber would flatten it out. Just made sticky dents everywhere. Even tried melting it with a hairdryer – nearly set the whole garage on fire. Rubber sap stunk like burnt tires for days.
Ended up sawing the whole goddamn thing off. Still got rubber tree sap stuck in my hair though. Final bounce test? Ball rolled crooked as a drunk pigeon. Timber pieces are now holding up a broken shelf leg in the laundry room. Waste of a weekend? Sure. Lesson learned? Timber ain’t play nice with bouncy things.
