Alright folks, today was one of those days where I bit off more than I could chew, but somehow managed to swallow it. Pad Basketball Engineer time – which basically means I decided to build a small wooden floor section for my buddy’s garage court project. Thought it’d be straightforward. Yeah, right.

Getting Dragged Into This

So first, this giant pile of wood planks shows up at my door. Like, seriously huge. Oak or something, I dunno, just looks tough. They were all bundled up tight in plastic and strapped down with these plastic bands harder than my willpower. Grabbed my heavy-duty scissors and wrestled those bands off. Broke a sweat just getting them free. Then ripped off the plastic – instant wood smell everywhere. Heavy. So heavy. Dragged them one by one into the garage, already feeling my back complain.

Tools Out, Brain On? Maybe

Cleared a big space on the garage floor – swept it half-assed, dust bunnies be damned. Laid out all the tools:

• My trusty measuring tape (the yellow one)
• A big spirit level, the one that always feels crooked until you trust it
• Power drill with a bit that looks like it eats screws
• Box of screws longer than my thumb
• A saw… because wood needed shortening, obviously
• A rubber mallet, because sometimes you just gotta bang things into place
• A pencil, sharpened hopefully to a useful point

Looked at the pile. Looked at the tools. Took a deep breath.

Measure Once, Cut Twice… Or Thrice

Started measuring the space again. Wrote numbers down on my hand because I’m fancy like that. Realized I needed shorter planks for the edge. Took the first plank, marked a line with the pencil and measuring tape. Thought I was steady. Propped it up on some old stools – safety first, sorta. Fired up the saw. That loud buzzing noise always gets me. Pushed through, sawdust flying everywhere. Got it cut. Placed it. Measured the gap. Way too short. Crap. Measured again on another plank. Cut slower this time. Still slightly off. Third time was kinda lucky, almost right. Sanded the rough edge down on that one with some sandpaper I found buried under oil rags.

The Jigsaw Puzzle From Hell

Now the fun part. Started laying out the planks on the floor, the tongue-and-groove sides clicking together. Sounds simple, right? First few went okay. Then one plank refused to sit flush. The groove wouldn’t take the tongue properly. Got the rubber mallet out. Tapped it gently. Nothing. Tapped harder. Still wouldn’t budge. Ended up whacking it like I was trying to kill a zombie. Thwack! Finally clicked in. Sweat dripping now. Next plank was even worse. Took the mallet, positioned it… swung… missed the plank and smacked my thumb good. Yelled. The neighbors probably know that word now. Found a glove after that. Pride hurt more than the thumb.

Screwing Things Down… Literally

Okay, planks laid, mostly. Time to secure them properly. Grabbed the power drill. Picked a pilot drill bit – didn’t wanna split the wood. Drilled test holes near the edge of a plank where it wouldn’t show. Good. Loaded up a screw. Started drilling it down. Screw sunk in nice. Thought, “This ain’t so bad.” Next screw… drill bit slipped. Left a nasty little scratch on the oak. Groaned. Tried to hide it later with wood filler from the back of a cupboard. Moved slower after that. Took forever, elbow starting to ache. Drove screw after screw, each one a little victory.

The Moment of Truth… Mostly

Finally, all screws in. Wiped the sweat off my forehead with the back of the glove (which was probably covered in sawdust too). Stood up slowly. Grabbed the spirit level. Placed it on different parts of the new little floor section. Held my breath. Bubble… bubble… mostly in the middle. Close enough! Definitely not a pool table, but for bouncing a ball? Good! Actually walked on it. Solid. Didn’t creak like a horror movie floor! Did a little bounce. Success! Well, kinda. It’s definitely in, and it feels good knowing it didn’t collapse under my feet.

Big Lesson Learned: Wood floors look simple. They are absolutely not simple. Also, gloves exist for a reason beyond making you look cool. And measure like three times. Seriously.