Okay folks, gather ’round. Figured I’d spill the beans on my latest weekend project – trying to be some kinda “Pad Basketball Engineer” and slapping down some wood flooring in the garage. Buckle up, it was a ride.
Got the Gear & Saw the Mess
First up, I dragged my sorry self out to the garage. Floor was concrete, old, dusty, and had these weird oily patches leftover from who-knows-what car project. Looked awful. I grabbed:
- A bunch of those tongue-and-groove wooden planks (nothing fancy, basic stuff from the hardware store).
- Big roll of that flimsy foam pad stuff that’s supposed to cushion the wood.
- Measuring tape (the cheap one my kid probably used for a sword fight).
- A sharp utility knife.
- A rubber mallet (for bashing things gently, supposedly).
- Some spacers (little plastic wedges).
- A saw (borrowed from the neighbor, hope he doesn’t miss it).
Swept like crazy. Seriously, don’t skip this. Swept until my arms felt like jelly. You think it’s clean? Sweep again. Dust is your enemy.
Rolling Out the Red Carpet… Sorta
Unrolled that foam pad across the whole mess I just swept. Tried to get it flat against the concrete, no wrinkles. Easier said than done. That thing has a mind of its own. Taped the seams together where they met. Probably used way too much tape. Looks like a kindergarten art project now.
Measuring Twice… Or More Like Six Times
Measured the garage width. Then measured my planks. Realized fast I’d need to cut the first and last rows to fit width-wise. Made a pencil mark on a plank. Took a deep breath. Grabbed the neighbor’s saw. Safety glasses on, fingers tucked in. Made the cut. Wasn’t laser straight, but close enough for garage basketball, right?
Laid down the first plank against the long wall. Jammed in those plastic spacers between the plank and the wall. This gap is crucial, the internet yelled at me. Wood moves, apparently. Needs breathing room.
The Click-Clack Tap Dance
Here’s where it gets rhythmic. Take the next plank. Tilt it up, slide the tongue bit into the groove of the first one. Lower it down. Feels satisfying when it slips in. Then came the bashing part. Whack the end with the rubber mallet to snug it up tight. Slide in the spacers along the wall. Repeat. And repeat. And repeat.
Hit a snag. The long edge wasn’t locking tight. Fiddled with it. Pushed. Pulled. Finally got it to click properly. Kept going row by row. Used shorter leftover pieces to start new rows. Trying not to line up the joints, make it look staggered. Looks kinda cool, actually.
Got to the middle. Was crawling on my hands and knees by this point. My back was screaming. Took a break. Drank a questionable amount of coffee.
The Triumphant Final Row Fiasco
Reached the far wall. Same deal as the start. Measure the gap. Measure a plank. Mark it. Saw it. Sweat dripping. Praying I don’t mess up this last piece. Got the tongue angled in, gently eased it down, tapped it home with the mallet. Jammed the last spacers in. Looked… like a floor! Mostly flat, anyway.
The Devil in the Details (And Gaps)
Walked over it. Checked for loose spots or gaps between planks. Found a couple of spots that felt a bit springy near the wall. Realized the gap spacer had maybe popped out? Dug my fingers in (ow) and pushed it back. Felt more solid.
Checked the end gaps along the walls. Made sure they were consistent and still had space. Do not underestimate these stupid little spacers. They save you from big headaches later, like the floor buckling.
Staring at the Sweaty Victory
Pulled out all the spacers. Swept the surface again, picking up sawdust and random spacer bits. Stood back. It’s a wooden floor. In my garage. For bouncing a basketball. It’s not NBA court perfect. There’s a slightly bigger gap here, a tiny wobble there near where I messed up the first cut. But damn. I did that. Without power tools mostly. Feels pretty good.
Threw the basketball down. Bounce! Bounce! Bounce! Sounds way better than the concrete slap. Mission accomplished. Celebrated with instant noodles. My kind of victory feast.
