Alright folks, today I figured I’d share the whole shebang about this pad basketball thing I did. You know, putting together that birch wooden flooring? It turned into quite the adventure.

Why I Even Bought This Thing

So, picture this. My kid’s been bouncing his ball all over the house, driving the neighbors nuts upstairs. Plus, the old carpet looked like something chewed it up. Saw this birch flooring kit online meant for basement basketball pads – claimed it was easy assembly. Yeah right. Bought it thinking, how hard could it be? Spoiler: it was harder.

Opening That Giant Box

Delivery guy drops off this monster box heavier than my fridge. Hauled it down to the basement and ripped it open with my utility knife. Inside? A zillion wood planks wrapped in plastic, like a thousand little tongue-and-groove soldiers. Then there were these weird foam pad sheets, a big bag of tiny nail things, some spacers that looked like plastic coins, and of course, the dreaded instruction manual – one sheet with tiny pictures I needed a magnifying glass for. Right away I thought, “This might take a minute.”

Getting the Floor Ready

First job? Clear everything out. Swept all the dust bunnies and Lego landmines to one side. The concrete floor felt cold and had a couple of dips I hadn’t noticed before. Knew those foam pads needed to go down first. Unrolled them slowly, trying to line them up edge-to-edge without overlapping. Taped the seams together with this thick duct tape I found. This part felt okay, actually. Nice flat surface to start.

The Actual Wooden Puzzle

Here’s where the fun really started. Pulled out the first birch plank, groove side facing the wall. Stuck those little spacers they gave me all along the wall – supposed to stop things from buckling, they said. Lined up the next plank, tongue into the groove, pretty snug. Easy so far. Then I grabbed this rubber mallet they included. Started tapping the new plank gently to lock it in. Tap-tap-tap-tap… CRACK. Yeah, hit it slightly wrong right on the end and split the stupid tongue clean off. Fantastic. First plank ruined. Had to dig out a new one.

Lesson learned: less hammer, more finesse. Went slower after that, placing each plank carefully, checking it was straight, and only tapping lightly in the middle. Did a whole row sideways across the basement. Felt good seeing that first row down solid. Rinse and repeat for the next row.

The Curveball (Literally)

The trouble really hit when I got near the far wall. Turns out my basement ain’t a perfect rectangle. More like a weird trapezoid thing going on. So, the last planks in the row needed cutting to fit. Had to drag them upstairs, measure three times, sweat bullets, and finally cut them with my old circular saw in the driveway. Sawdust flying everywhere. Fit wasn’t perfect. Had to wiggle them in and let me tell you, there was some creative language involved. Those little plastic spacers kept popping out too, felt like chasing marbles across the floor.

Final Stretch and That Sinking Feeling

Finally got the last piece to fit sorta okay. Pulled out all those spacers. Needed to add a couple of small trim pieces near the bottom of the walls to cover gaps. That part was finicky but straightforward. Then I walked on it. Creak-creak-creak. Oh yeah. A couple of spots near the cuts where it wasn’t locked in perfectly started singing like an old bed. Went back over them, tapped some more, even added a few extra of those little nails they gave us using a punch to sink them below the wood. Helped a bit, but yeah… it still talks to me.

Is It Perfect?

Nope. Not even close. There’s that one slightly wonky corner near the water heater, and that annoying creek near the drain. But guess what? My kid can bounce that basketball like crazy now. The wood feels good underfoot, the birch looks pretty darn nice even with the scratches I probably put in it, and it stopped the neighbor from banging on the ceiling. Mission mostly accomplished. Took way longer than the box promised, taught me to double-check my walls aren’t straight, and confirmed that sometimes, the instructions are basically modern art. Would I do it again? Maybe. But definitely with a better saw and maybe some knee pads next time.