Okay, here’s my blog post about assembling that rubber-dancing hard wooden flooring:

Man, what a day! I decided to tackle that pile of wooden flooring I had sitting in the garage. It was supposed to be “easy-click” assembly, but let me tell you, it put up a fight. I’m calling it “rubber dancing” because that’s what it felt like I was doing most of the time.

Prepping the Battleground

First things first, I cleared out the room. I mean, everything. Furniture, rugs, the dog’s bed… the whole nine yards. You need space, lots of it, to wrestle with these planks.

Then, I checked the subfloor. It’s gotta be level, folks. Mine was pretty good, just a few minor dips. I used some self-leveling compound to smooth things out. Make sure the subfloor’s cleaned before laying down the planks.

The First Few Rows… Ugh

I laid down the underlayment. It had sticky part so, I put it down as I go, that way it can be flat and sticked to the subfloor firmly.

The instructions said to start in a corner and work your way out. Sounds simple, right? Wrong! The first few rows were the absolute worst. I struggled to get those little tongue-and-groove things to click together properly. I was sweating, swearing, and seriously considering calling a professional. I mean, these were some stubborn planks!

Finding My Rhythm (Sort Of)

After about an hour of wrestling with the first three rows, I started to get a little better. I figured out that you need to angle the planks just right, and then use a tapping block and a rubber mallet to persuade them to join forces. Don’t bang them in like crazy. Instead, tap and apply pressure, then move to the next tap, little by little.

• Tip 1: Use a rubber mallet! A regular hammer will dent the wood. Trust me, I learned the hard way.
• Tip 2: Don’t be afraid to use some force, but be gentle at the same time. It’s a weird balance.
• Tip 3: Have patience. Lots and lots of patience.

The “Rubber Dancing”

Here’s where the “rubber dancing” came in. I found that the best way to get the planks to lock together was to stand on one plank, kind of bounce a little, and then use my body weight to push the next plank into place. It looked ridiculous, I’m sure, but it worked! I was basically doing a weird, slow-motion jig across the floor.

I shuffle my feet, twist, and step on the planks as I go.

The Finish Line (Finally!)

After what felt like an eternity, I finally reached the other side of the room. The last few planks were tricky because I had to cut them to size. I used a jigsaw for that, and it wasn’t pretty, but it got the job done. Installed those quarter-round moldings to hide the gaps around the edges.

I stood back, admired my handiwork (and my aching back), and declared victory. The floor looked pretty darn good, if I do say so myself. It wasn’t perfect, but it was done. And I did it myself! Now, time for a beer…