Okay, so yesterday, I decided to tackle that pile of wooden flooring that’s been sitting in my garage for, like, ever. I’m no expert, but I figured, how hard could it be? Famous last words, right?

First, I cleared the room. This involved a lot of shoving furniture around and convincing my cat that the empty space was NOT a new, giant litter box.

Then came the underlayment. I unrolled the stuff, which was surprisingly satisfying, like making a giant bed. I taped the seams together, feeling pretty proud of myself at this point.

The Real Challenge Began.

The flooring itself…oh boy. I’d watched a few videos, so I knew the general idea: click the planks together, tap them gently, and they magically form a floor. Ha!

The first few rows went okay. I struggled a bit to get the angles right, and my knees were already protesting, but I managed. I used wood spacers to have space to the wall.

• First obstacle: The darn doorway. I fumbled around with a saw, making some pretty questionable cuts, but eventually, I wedged a piece in that looked…okay.

Then came the “keel dancing” part. See, some of these planks were just NOT cooperating. They wouldn’t click, they wouldn’t lie flat, they were basically rebelling against my flooring dreams. So, I resorted to a bit of percussive persuasion. I gently tapped, then I tapped harder, and finally, I stood on the stubborn planks, bouncing a little, until I heard that satisfying click. Hence, “keel dancing.”

My back was aching, my hands were sore, and I was pretty sure I’d invented a few new curse words. But, plank by plank, row by row, I persisted.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I placed the last plank. I stepped back, surveyed my handiwork, and…well, it wasn’t perfect. There were a few gaps, a couple of slightly uneven spots, but you know what? It was a FLOOR! I did that!

I collapsed onto my newly-floored surface, exhausted but triumphant. And then I realized I had to put all the furniture back. Maybe I’ll leave that for tomorrow.