So I finally got around to tackling that hardwood flooring project for my buddy’s volleyball court this week. Had this idea bouncing in my head for months ever since we tripped on that cheapo vinyl surface during our last tournament. Started by clearing out the whole dang space like a maniac – brooms flying, vacuums roaring, almost choked on dust clouds. Found like three dead spiders and a fossilized Gatorade cap under the bleachers. Gross.

Materials Tango

Splashed cash on maple planks after wrestling with the lumberyard guy for an hour. “You sure you don’t want pine? Cheaper!” Nah man, this court eats cheap wood for breakfast. Hauled twelve bundles that weighed like dead elephants into my pickup. Nearly broke my back unloading ’em next to the mound of underpadding foam rolls I’d scored off Craigslist. Looked like a beaver’s dream warehouse in there.

The Battle Begins

First dumb move: forgot moisture checks. Wasted half a Tuesday watching that little meter crawl across the concrete like a sleepy turtle. Finally gave up when it hit 4.5% and just started slapping down foam rolls like carpet bombing. Unrolled ’em crooked twice, cussed at the wrinkles, almost kneeled on a rogue staple. Then came the wood war – spent two days just arranging planks like jigsaw pieces while dodging my buddy’s “helpful” suggestions about grain patterns.

Nailgun Nightmare

Rented this clunky floor nailer that kicked like a drunk mule. First row went okay-ish if you ignore the three splintered boards. By row four I’m sweating buckets, the compressor’s wheezing like an asthmatic, and I’m nailing my own shoelace to the damn floor. Had to chisel it off. Counted seven bent nails in the reject pile before realizing I was holding the mallet backwards. Yeah. That happened.

Midway Meltdown

Hit the centerline and suddenly all my pretty rows decided to party. Gaps wide enough to lose car keys opened up near service line. My buddy’s all “just force it!” Broke two boards trying to hammer them into submission. Tore up six planks in a rage, found out the subfloor had a sneaky bump. Ground it down with my emergency sander while coughing like a coal miner.

Finish Line Fiasco

Applied finish with this roller that shed more hairs than my golden retriever. Panicked when streaks appeared, tried fixing it with a brush – now it looks like a zebra with mange. Let it dry for what felt like forever only to find footprints when my neighbor “just wanted to feel it”. Re-did the whole end zone section biting back tears.

The Final Tally

• Blood sacrifice: Three bandaids and one purple thumbnail
• Wood casualties: Nine planks in the “oops” pile
• Time sucked: Four weekends and two sick days
• Worth it? Hell yes when we played first game – no more faceplanting!

Moral of the story? Measure five times, hammer once. And maybe don’t let your buddy “supervise” with a six-pack.