So my kid’s high school volleyball court flooring got wrecked after some water leak disaster. Principal called asking if I could help since they know I do woodwork stuff on weekends. I was like “sure why not” without realizing how much maple planks actually weigh.
The Horror Show Underneath
First I ripped up the damaged section near the service line. Holy moly! The subfloor looked like Swiss cheese – termites had party time there for months. Sawdust piles everywhere when I poked it with my crowbar. Found five rusty nails sticking out that probably punctured like ten volleyballs already.
Tools I Grabbed From My Shed:
- My grandpa’s 1970s hammer
- Circular saw with half-dull blade
- Bottle of wood glue that expired last year
- Random screws from coffee cans
- That blue level with the bubble that sticks
The Bloody Battle
Had to cut replacement planks from fresh maple boards. Learned real quick that maple’s harder than my ex-wife’s alimony demands. Blade started smoking on the third cut. Almost chopped my thumb off twice while cutting angles for the corner fittings.
Then the glue disaster happened. Forgot to close the bottle properly so when I picked it up – BAM! Sticky brown explosion all over my work jeans. Had to finish the job looking like I peed myself.
Surprise Problems Party
Thought it’d be simple. Ha! Floor wasn’t level, had to stack like three shims near the center line. Found some weird spongy patch that turned out to be decades-old chewing gum. Then discovered the replacement planks were slightly darker than the original so now there’s this Frankenstein stripe across the court.
By hour six I was crawling on my knees like a praying mantis trying to hammer down that last stubborn plank. My back made popping sounds when I finally stood up.
Mission Accomplished… Mostly
Got it done before the girls’ team practice. Coach said the ball bounces fine except on that slightly raised edge near the glue-stain spot. Kids keep calling it the “caramel zone” and try to serve there to mess with opponents. School saved like four grand though. Me? All I got was this horrible sawdust cough and three new blisters. Next time they ask me about gym floors, I’m suddenly going deaf.
