My Dance with the Wobbly Rubber Tree & Flooring Saga

Right, so this whole thing started because my big old rubber tree plant by the window looked like it was trying to shuffle off this mortal coil every time the AC kicked on. Thing wouldn’t stand still. And right next to it, that bit of laminate flooring near the patio door? Looked awful. Gaps, little chips, just nasty. Figured, why not fix both in one go?

Step one was the messy bit: clearing everything out. Dragged that heavy rubber tree pot onto the balcony – dirt everywhere, obviously. Swept like mad trying to get all the old soil and bits out of the way. Then, I tackled those broken planks. Grabbed my pry bar, which is basically just a sturdy flathead screwdriver I abuse, and started digging under the edge. Little pieces flew off like shrapnel, made a proper mess. Took way longer than I thought just getting those few bad sections out.

Underneath? Well, surprise surprise. Found some old newspaper scraps glued down? And the floor wasn’t perfectly flat either. Nice little hill bump near the wall. Fantastic. For the hill:

• I whacked it gently for a minute with my hammer (felt satisfying, honestly).
• Then layered some thin cardboard bits under the new foam pad stuff where the dip was worst. Cardboard box scraps to the rescue again.

Cutting the new planks was next. Measured roughly with a tape measure, marked my lines with a pencil, then grabbed the jigsaw. Nerves always hit me here. That screeching noise! Cut the pieces slightly bigger than the hole, thank goodness, because my cuts weren’t exactly art gallery material. Little rough on the edges.

Then came the fitting. Tried slotting the first new plank into place… nope. Edges weren’t lining up right with the old stuff. Had to shave just a tiny bit off the connecting edge with the jigsaw. More nerve-wracking screeching. Got it in, used a rubber mallet to bang it tight against its neighbor. Felt a little ‘click’. Progress!

Finally, the star of the show: the wobbly rubber tree. Tipped the pot sideways on the balcony, scooped out some dirt. Found four heavy-ish rocks lying around the yard – washed the worst of the mud off. Plonked them right on top of the dirt at the bottom of the pot. Put most of the dirt back in, packed it down with my fists. Replanted the tree itself. Watered it good.

Dragged the whole thing, groaning (me and the pot), back into position over my nice new flooring section. Tapped the pot firmly with my foot to settle it. Then… the moment of truth. Gave the tree trunk a gentle push. Rock solid! No more stupid jiggly dance moves. Swept up the final mess of dust and plastic bits.

Stepped back. New flooring bit looked seamless. Tree stood proud and steady. Didn’t cost me a fortune, just time, elbow grease, a bit of recycled cardboard, and some garden rocks. Win. Lesson? Sometimes the messy, improvised fix works just fine.