So this rubber tree situation was driving me nuts. Every time I walked past it, the damn thing rocked like it’s doing the cha-cha. First thought? Maybe the flooring under it went bonkers. Grabbed my phone flashlight, shoved my head under the leaves, and yep—the floorboard underneath was wobbling like Jell-O.

The Tape Disaster

Okay, genius idea: slapped heavy-duty double-sided tape between the pot and floor. Tested it… kicked the pot gently with my toe. Three seconds later, the tape surrendered. Felt like trying to glue a brick to butter. Messy residue everywhere—had to scrape it off with a butter knife and acetone. What a joke.

Taking Matters Underground

Decided to go full detective. Yanked the plant out (dirt avalanche included). Swept the mess, cleared debris from the gap. Here’s the real horror show: the floorboards had a ¼-inch gap underneath them. No support! Just floating. Mystery solved: the “dancing” was the whole damn plank flexing.

The Janky But Effective Fix

• Found scrap wood chunks from last year’s shelf project—roughly 1×2 inch leftovers.
• Hammered them flat into the gap, stacked like uneven pancakes under the floating plank.
• Glued layers together with gorilla glue because #scraplife.
• Sweated bullets while hammering—neighbors probably thought I was building a coffin.

Shoved the chunk-tower under the plank, hammered until it stopped moving. Swept sawdust off my eyebrows. Tested by jumping on the spot—solid. Re-potted the tree, watered it, shoved it back. Gave it a wiggle-test: zero dance moves. Did a victory stomp. Dropped a thick book on the spot—nothing. Not even a creak.

Sipped cheap coffee glaring at the tree: “Dance now, you overpriced salad.” Silence. Patched the floor gaps with wood filler later. Done.