Alright folks, grab a coffee, ’cause this portable dance floor saga was a whole journey. Wanted something solid to practice on uneven ground outside, but store-bought ones cost an arm and a leg. Figured, “How hard can it be? It’s just planks.” Wonder how many hours I’ll waste this time.

The Grand Plan (Or Lack Thereof)

Woke up Saturday itching to build. Needed something cheap, tough enough for stomping, lightweight to haul around, and dead flat. Larch wood sounded solid – decent price, tough as nails, weathers okay. Headed straight to the lumberyard. Got there, stared at piles of planks… damn, hadn’t figured out sizing yet. Brain stalled. Just grabbed eight 2-meter lengths of larch planks that looked straight enough. Threw them in the truck. Felt productive already.

Assembly Line Chaos

Got home, cleared a spot in the garage. Laid those long planks side-by-side. Looked wobbly. Obviously needed something underneath to tie them together. Scrounged around. Found:

• Some leftover strips of 1×2 pine (free = win)
• A handful of those stubby wood screws (hoped they were long enough)
• The trusty cordless drill (battery miraculously charged)

Slapped the pine strips perpendicular across the planks, one strip near each end. Position felt okay. Grabbed the drill. Didn’t measure twice – just held the strips tight and fired screws through them into the larch. Made sure the screw heads sank below the top surface. Didn’t want no trip hazards mid-cha-cha. Flip the whole thing over… looked kinda like a raft. Felt sturdy when I bounced on it. Early victory.

Where It All Went Wrong… Then Mostly Right

Tried moving the raft. Pure comedy. Banged my knee carrying it. Damn thing was heavy and awkward as hell. Needed handles, or… wheels? Brain percolated. Remembered those folding luggage wheels rotting in the shed. Dusted them off. Looked flimsy, but worth a shot. Tore apart the luggage frame, salvaged the wheels and mounting plates.

Now, attaching them to the floor. Brain freeze again. Where? Ends? Side? How? Lumberyard hadn’t covered “wheel mounting for dance floors” in aisle 3. Eyeballed it. Figured corners would be strongest. Grabbed scrap plywood chunks from the “I might need this someday” pile. Screwed one plywood block onto the underside near one corner – solid surface. Then screwed the salvaged wheel mounting plate onto that plywood block. Repeated at the opposite corner. Wheel hubs stuck out like sore thumbs, but they spun.

Lifted one end – okay, the wheels touched down. Could kinda tilt and drag it now. Less awful than carrying. Sprayed the hubs with WD-40. Squeaked a bit less.

Fine-Tuning and First Stomp Test

Placed it on the patio stones – not perfectly flat. Saw a tiny wobble. Panic set in. Undid one set of screws attaching the cross braces. Slipped a small plastic shim under one larch plank end. Re-tightened. Wobble vanished. Felt like a genius with a shim.

Time to break it in. Cranked some salsa. Took my first step… held my breath… then solid. Beautifully flat, no creaks. Spun around – pure stability. Didn’t even rattle my forgotten bubble tea sitting nearby. Pure bliss.

Final Touches (Because Aesthetics)

Felt triumphant. Rubbed a thin coat of clear matte varnish into the larch top surface. Didn’t want it too slippery, just some protection from my sweaty dance shoes. Let it bake in the sun.

Why Bother? It Just Works!

This ridiculous larch raft? Now lives rolled up against the garage wall near the door. See a sunny patch? Tilt it onto its wheels, drag it over, plonk it down. Dirt, gravel, bumpy grass – doesn’t care. Instant dance zone. Cheaper than therapy or replacing worn-out dance shoes from bad surfaces. Sturdy. Does what it says on the tin. Brain still wonders why making it involved shims and salvaged luggage wheels, but hey, it dances.

Now, if only I could cha-cha-cha as smoothly as I built this thing… maybe next project.