So my living room floor decided to start tap dancing last week. You know that annoying click-clack sound when boards rub together? Yeah. That. Figured it was time to mess with my floating wood floor again.
What Was Happening
Over near the big window, three planks were doing the cha-cha whenever I stepped on ’em. Felt like walking on a bouncy castle. Stupid hard assembling system where the tongues lock into grooves – seemed like those plastic joints gave up the ghost.
My Ghetto Repair Kit
Gathered up:
- Hammer (the 5 pounder from garage)
- Crowbar (small one for trim)
- Wood glue (super cheap brand)
- Carpenter’s pencil (mostly chewed)
- Pack of playing cards (grandpa’s old deck)
The Sweaty Wrestling Match
First kicked off the baseboard near the wobbly spot. Jammed the crowbar behind it and POP went the nails. Then came the dumbest part – had to lift the ENTIRE run of planks from the wall to reach the broken ones. Like unzipping a zipper made of oak. Sweat dripping everywhere trying not to crack the tongues.
Found the troublemakers alright. Two planks had snapped locking lips and one had glue crust from last tenant’s “fix”. Scratched pencil lines where they lived so I’d remember later. Almost threw the crowbar when plank #7 cracked.
MacGyver Mode Activated
Slid out the busted boards easy – too easy actually, proved they weren’t locked right. Dumped wood glue all over the fresh planks’ grooves like pancake syrup. Hammered them in with gentle taps? Nah. Went BAM BAM BAM till my elbow hurt. When gaps still showed, shoved playing cards between planks to force them snug before glue dried.
Waiting Game & Final Test
Stood heavy books on the repaired spot overnight to crush it flat. Next morning, peeled off sticky cards glued to the floor like moron. Surprise – no more rock ‘n roll flooring! Jumped on that spot like idiot testing it. Solid as concrete now.
Lessons? Floating floors suck to fix. Might’ve over-glued – cards are still stuck under bookshelf where I missed ’em. But hey, no more dancing floor. Time for beer.
