Man, what a day. So I was setting up the dance studio’s new speaker rig early this morning when I noticed something wonky. The main support timber under the stage was wobbling like crazy whenever someone stepped near the corner. Like, seriously, it looked ready to snap mid-routine. Not cool when you’ve got a hip-hop crew coming in for practice at noon.

The Wobbly Timber Situation

First thing I did was drop to my knees and crawl under that stage. Dust bunnies everywhere, by the way. Grabbed my flashlight and poked at the timber with a screwdriver. Whole thing felt spongy near the joint. Turns out, some idiot used flimsy wood screws instead of proper lag bolts to attach it to the side brace. Probably rushed the setup last month. Ugh.

I dug through my toolbox in the back room. Found:

• A handful of chunky half-inch lag bolts
• My dusty impact driver
• A level that’s seen better days
• Some scrap plywood chunks for shims

Got back under there and basically:

• Yanked out the sad little wood screws – they came out like wet noodles.
• Jam-packed the screw holes with wood glue and toothpicks. Let it sit for 20 minutes while I ate a stale granola bar. Hey, fuel’s fuel.
• Drilled some pilot holes where the old screws were. My arm got crampy holding that drill sideways.
• Cranked in the new lag bolts tight. Felt solid! No more sponginess.
• Slapped the level on top. Bubble was way off. Knew it. Shimmed the heck out of the brace joint with those plywood scraps until it was dead level.

Final Test

Climbed out, covered in spiderwebs and probably mouse droppings. Didn’t care. Called over my buddy Dave – the guy’s built like a fridge – and told him to jump on that corner like he was crushing a disco beat.

Solid as a rock! No creak, no wobble, nothing. Felt so damn good. Even Dave grunted, “Yeah, that’ll hold.” High praise from him. Crew came in later and danced their hearts out, completely clueless about the near-disaster under their feet. Perfect.

Whole thing took maybe two hours? Mostly ’cause I dropped one of the lag bolts into a dusty abyss under the stage and spent 15 minutes fishing it out with a magnet on a string. Lesson? Always bring spares. And maybe a hazmat suit.