Okay so my birch wood floorboards started doing this annoying squeaky dance every time I walked over them. Sounded like a damn mouse convention under there. Figured it was time to fix it myself instead of paying some fancy contractor.

The Investigation

First I crawled around like an idiot pressing every single board with my hands and knees. Found three problem spots near the window where the wood was rubbing against the nails when weighted. Classic wood shrinkage from dry winter air.

Gathering Supplies

Went to my garage and dug out:

• The cordless drill I bought on Black Friday
• Some leftover 2-inch finish nails
• That gray wood filler paste from last year’s shelf project
• My kid’s sidewalk chalk (you’ll see why)

Execution Phase

Started near the wall where the worst squeak was. Marked the noisy joist locations with bright pink chalk so I wouldn’t miss them. Drove in nails at 45-degree angles about every 10 inches along the chalk lines – drilled slow as hell to avoid splitting the birch. Heard that satisfying thunk when each nail sunk into the floor joist.

For the bigger gaps near the heating vent, I mixed wood filler with sawdust from my bench sander. Jammed that putty deep into the cracks using a putty knife like I was frosting a cake. Let it dry overnight while I drank two beers.

Final Test

Next morning I did a happy dance right over the fixed spots. Dead silent! That filler had shrunk a bit though so I sanded it smooth with 120-grit paper. Finished by rubbing some old English scratch cover over the repair spots to blend the color.

Took me three hours total if you don’t count beer breaks. Now when my dog runs across the floor it’s just the thump thump of paws instead of that embarrassing crunch-and-squeak orchestra. Total cost? Like three bucks for nails I already had.