So I decided to finally tackle my awful living room floor situation. Remember how I kept tripping over that stupid uneven patch near the balcony? Yeah, had enough of that nonsense.
Getting the Stuff
Searched online for wood flooring that wouldn’t bankrupt me. Stumbled on this “fixed dancing beech assembly” type – sounds fancy but really just meant tongue-and-groove boards with click-lock ends. Ordered twenty boxes cause my living room’s bigger than I thought. Delivery guy dumped them all by the driveway like he was mad at me personally.
The Sneaky Underlayment Trap
First screw-up: tried skipping the foam underlayment to save time. Bad idea. Threw those first two rows on bare concrete and they sounded like walking on bubble wrap. Had to rip it out next morning. My knees still hurt thinking about that stupidity.
Board Tetris Begins
Started in the far corner like everyone says. Pro-tip: the “dancing beech” thing is marketing crap – but the boards do slide together easier than my IKEA dresser. Did the clicking thing by hand first:
- Slanted one piece at 45 degrees
- Shoved tongue into groove
- Smashed it down with my palm like I was high-fiving the floor
After row five, borrowed neighbor Steve’s rubber mallet. Forgot about expansion gaps until Steve yelled “HEY MORON YOUR FLOOR WILL BUCKLE!”. Nearly cried putting in those ugly spacers.
The Tools War
Thought my regular saw would work. Wrong. Beech wood laughed at my dull blade. Finally dragged out the jigsaw but man that dust got everywhere. Looked like a woodchuck exploded in my kitchen. Still finding sawdust in the coffee maker weeks later.
The Miracle Moment
After three weekends of swearing and Band-Aids, that final piece clicked in. Walked barefoot across it feeling like a conquering hero. Until I noticed the last row’s weird color mismatch. Too late now. Maybe it’ll darken over time? Yeah… we’ll go with that.
Final Thoughts
Would I do it again? Hell no. But the floor doesn’t squeak when I step on it and that uneven patch is gone. Staring at my slightly crooked transition strip daily as punishment for not measuring twice. But hey – saved a fortune on installation!
