Okay, so I finally got around to putting down that wooden flooring in the spare room. The old carpet was just depressing, honestly. Time for a change, I thought. How hard could it be?

Getting Started

First thing, cleared everything out. Like, completely empty. It’s amazing how much junk you can stuff into one room. Then I grabbed the flooring planks I’d bought – they’d been sitting there for a week, getting used to the room temperature, apparently that’s important. Also got the underlayment, some kind of foamy roll, and the tools. Tapping block, pull bar, spacers, and my trusty rubber mallet. That mallet would see some action.

The Groundwork

Rolled out the underlayment. Easy enough. Cut it roughly to size with a utility knife, taped the seams together. Felt pretty professional doing that, not gonna lie. Made sure the subfloor was clean and flat before I started. Didn’t want any bumps telegraphing through later.

The First Row Drama

Now the actual planks. They say the first row is the most important. And they ain’t wrong. Measured the room width, did some quick math to make sure the last row wouldn’t be a tiny sliver. Had to cut the first plank to start the stagger pattern. Used a jigsaw. Messy. Then lining it up straight along the wall, using those little plastic spacers to leave an expansion gap. Fiddly work. Took way longer than I expected.

Click, Tap, Repeat – The Dance Begins

Once the first row was down and straight (enough), things started moving. Mostly. You line up the next plank, angle it in, click it down. Then you take the tapping block, put it against the edge, and give it a few whacks with the rubber mallet to make sure it’s snug. Then move to the next one. Click, tap, tap. Click, tap, tap.

This is where I started feeling it. You’re kneeling, you’re bending, you’re shuffling along the floor. You need to apply force with the mallet, but you also need to be careful not to damage the edges. It’s this weird combination of needing precision, like an engineer figuring out the angles and fits, especially around the door frame, but doing it all while performing this clumsy, shuffling movement on your knees. Felt like some kind of rubber dancing engineer. Flexible enough to bend down, awkward enough to call it dancing, and focused enough to try and get it right. Lots of tapping with that rubber mallet, too.

Hitting a Rhythm (Sort Of)

After a few rows, I got into a sort of rhythm.

• Slide plank into position.
• Angle, click long edge.
• Tap short edge closed with block and mallet.
• Shuffle sideways.
• Repeat.

Cutting planks for the end of rows became routine. Measure twice (or three times, let’s be honest), cut once. The jigsaw and I became reluctant partners. Made a fair bit of sawdust.

Wrapping It Up

The last row was tricky again, needed careful measuring and cutting to fit, leaving that expansion gap. Used the pull bar tool and the mallet to snug those last pieces in. Felt good to finish. Stood back, looked at it. A few sore muscles, definitely felt the ‘dancing’ part. But the floor looked pretty solid. Way better than the old carpet.

Cleaned up the mess, which was considerable. Still need to put the baseboards back on to cover the expansion gaps around the edges, but the main job is done. Quite the experience, being a rubber dancing engineer for a weekend. Looks decent though, so worth it. Maybe.