Okay, so I’ve been wanting to redo my floors for, like, forever. And I finally decided to tackle this “batten dancing parquet” thing. It looked cool in the pictures, all geometric and fancy, but let me tell you, it was a journey.

Prepping the Space (The Not-So-Fun Part)

First things first, I cleared out the entire room. Furniture, rugs, everything. It was like a blank canvas, except instead of paint, I had a dusty old subfloor staring back at me. Then came the cleaning. Oh, the cleaning! I swept, I vacuumed, I scrubbed. I wanted that subfloor spotless because, you know, new floor and all.

Next, I checked the subfloor to make sure it was level. Turns out, it wasn’t. Not even close. So, I got some self-leveling compound and went to town. It was messy, and it smelled kinda weird, but after it dried, I had a perfectly smooth surface. Finally!

The Batten Battle

This is where the “batten” part comes in. Basically, battens are these thin strips of wood that you glue and nail down to create the framework for the parquet pattern. I measured everything out, like, a million times. I used my square rules, marked, cut and fixed them. Getting the angles right was crucial, otherwise, the whole thing would look wonky.

I laid out the battens according to my design, which was a classic herringbone, by the way. It was like a giant puzzle, but instead of cardboard pieces, I had wood, and instead of a picture guide, I had a very rough sketch I drew myself. I used construction adhesive to glue the battens down, and then I nailed them in for extra security. Teamwork makes the dream work, right?

Parquet Placement (The Fun-ish Part)

With the batten framework in place, it was time to start laying the actual parquet pieces. I had these beautiful oak blocks, and they just slotted right into the spaces between the battens. It was surprisingly satisfying, like clicking together LEGOs, but way more adult.

I started in one corner and worked my way across the room, tapping each piece into place with a rubber mallet. Some pieces needed a little trimming, so I used my miter saw for that. Safety first, kids! Always wear your safety glasses.

• Glue: Don’t be shy with the glue. You want those parquet pieces to stay put.
• Tap, Don’t Smash: Use a rubber mallet, not a hammer. You don’t want to damage the wood.
• Patience, Young Padawan: This is not a race. Take your time and enjoy the process.

Finishing Touches (The Glorious End)

Once all the parquet pieces were in place, I let the glue dry overnight. The next day, I filled any gaps with wood filler, and then I sanded the entire floor. Sanding is dusty, so I made sure my windows is open.

Finally, I applied a few coats of polyurethane finish. This is what gives the floor that beautiful shine and protects it from spills and scratches. I let each coat dry completely before applying the next one. And then… I stood back and admired my handiwork. My very own batten dancing parquet wooden floor! It was a lot of work, but totally worth it. It looked amazing, and I did it all myself. Boom!