So people keep askin’ why I bothered repaintin’ that old gym floor myself instead of payin’ someone. Well here’s how that went down, step by painful step.
Gettin’ Started Like a Dumbass
Woke up last Tuesday thinkin’, “Hey how hard can floor paintin’ be?” Rushed to Home Depot grabbed generic “sports court blue” paint. Did ZERO research. Got home all pumped, dumped paint right onto the dusty wood. WRONG.
- Paint pooled like a swamp around my shoes
- Dust clumps started floatin’ in it like tiny islands
- Realized you gotta SCRUB THE DAMN THING first
The “Oh Crap” Cleanup Phase
Spent Wednesday morning sweepin’ till my arms wanted to fall off. Still looked dirty. Borrowed my neighbor’s industrial floor buffer. That monster almost shook my teeth loose. Saw dust clouds so thick I choked for ten minutes straight.
Then I remembered – gotta patch cracks. Used wood filler like spacklin’ a wall. Smoothed it rough with sandpaper. Created little dust mountains everywhere. Spent three hours just vacuumin’ up my own damn mess.
Paintin’ Lessons the Hard Way
Thursday rolls around. Finally ready to paint. Poured paint into a roller tray this time. Started in a corner workin’ backwards. Looked good til I reached the middle section. Couldn’t reach across without steppin’ on fresh paint. Trapped myself in a blue corner like an idiot.
- Waited two hours with my back cramped against the wall
- Left permanent butt-print on drying paint
- Finished the rest barefoot when it was barely dry
The Last Minute Nightmare
Thought I was done Friday morning. Wrong again. Lines! Forgot all about court markings. Had no idea how to make straight lines. Measured center court about five times – measurements kept comin’ out different.
Used blue painter’s tape for lines. Painted white over it. Peelin’ the tape? Half the white paint ripped up with it. Looked like some kid sneezed lines everywhere. Took three tries and half a roll of tape to get semi-straight.
Finished at 2AM Saturday. Stank of paint. Ached everywhere. My wife said I looked like a blue yeti. But hey… floor’s blue now. Kids playin’ on it next week will probably ruin it.
