Okay, here’s my blog post about installing that “batten dancing hevea assembly wooden flooring,” written in a casual, personal style, and using simple HTML:

Man, this flooring project was a BEAST. I thought, “Hey, I can do this myself! Save some money!” Famous last words, right?

Getting Started

First, I cleared out the entire room. Everything. Furniture, rugs, the whole nine yards. It looked like a bomb had gone off, honestly.

Then came the prep work. The subfloor had to be perfectly level. Any bumps or dips, and you’ll feel it later. I spent a whole day with a level and some self-leveling compound, filling in low spots and grinding down high ones. What a mess!

The Battens

Next up: the battens. These are just strips of wood that you nail down to the subfloor. They create a framework for the actual flooring to sit on. Sounds easy, but getting them spaced correctly and perfectly parallel…that took some serious measuring and re-measuring.

I used a pneumatic nailer for the battens. if you want do it yourself, you’d better rent it.

• Measure, measure, measure!
• Use a chalk line to mark where the battens go.
• Nail those suckers down good and tight.

The “Dancing” Part (aka Laying the Floor)

Okay, this is where the “dancing” comes in. It’s not actual dancing, of course. It just means you’re kinda shuffling around on your knees, fitting the flooring pieces together. This Hevea wood… it’s pretty, but it’s also kinda tricky to work with.

Each piece has these grooves that fit together, and you gotta tap them in with a rubber mallet. Sometimes they go in easy, sometimes… not so much. I definitely banged my thumb a few times. Learn from my mistakes, wear gloves!

I started in one corner and worked my way across the room, row by row. It’s like a giant puzzle. You gotta make sure the seams are staggered, so it doesn’t look weird. And you gotta leave a little gap around the edges for expansion and contraction.

The Finish Line

Finally, after what felt like a year, I got the last piece in. I stood back and…wow. It actually looked pretty good! All that sweat and swearing was worth it.

I added some trim around the edges to cover that expansion gap, and that was it. Project done! Would I do it again? Maybe. But I’d definitely think twice… and maybe invest in some better knee pads.